how to survive the silent treatment

Key things to do when responding to the silent treatment and why:

1. Give the angry party some space. Before you do anything, you should give the angry party some space and time alone so that they can be with their feelings. ...
2. Rethink the situation from the other person’s point of view. ...
3. Seek the opinion of a trusted third party. ...
4. Ask to know what is wrong. ...
5. Apologize. ...

More items...

Full Answer

What should you do when someone gives you the silent treatment?

Before you do anything, you should give the angry party some space and time alone so that they can be with their feelings. The silent treatment is almost always because the angry person feels overwhelmed by their emotions. You should go out, or you can stay away for a while.

How to win the silent treatment?

One way to understand how to win the silent treatment is to brush it off or ignore it. If you aren’t necessarily in a close relationship with the person who is giving you the silent treatment, you may be able to just move on and act like nothing happened.

Can the silent treatment go on forever?

Sometimes, the silent treatment can go on forever. To take control of the situation, you can set a date and a time for an honest talk with the angry person. No one method on how to respond to the silent treatment is guaranteed to work. However, you still need to take control of the situation, or it can go on forever.

How does the silent treatment affect self-esteem?

The silent treatment can also be part of a broader pattern of control or emotional abuse. When it’s used regularly as a power play, it can make you feel rejected or excluded. This can have a huge effect on your self-esteem. Before diving into ways to respond to the silent treatment, it’s important to know how to recognize when it becomes abusive.

How long does silent treatment last?

If the perpetrator still refuses to acknowledge the victim's existence for long periods of time, it might be right to leave the relationship. In the end, whether it lasts four hours or four decades, the silent treatment says more about the person doing it than it does about the person receiving it.

What type of person gives the silent treatment?

Researchers have found that the silent treatment is used by both men and women to terminate a partner's behaviors or words rather than to elicit them. 1 In abusive relationships, the silent treatment is used to manipulate the other person and to establish power over them.

How do you deal with the silent treatment with dignity?

Maintain your dignity and try these six strategies.Look for the reasons behind the silent treatment. ... Share the psychology behind silent treatment. ... Avoid reacting to silent abuse. ... Respond with calmness and speak kindly. ... State your boundaries clearly. ... Take care of yourself. ... Consider professional therapy.

How do you break a silent relationship?

10 steps to break relationship silenceText a thoughtful message.Make a phone call.Apologize.Schedule a coffee date.Avoid reacting to toxicity.Give the other person space.Workshops or classes.Use the situation to create boundaries.More items...•

Does the silent treatment mean it's over?

People might also use it in moments where they don't know how to express themselves or feel overwhelmed. But some people use the silent treatment as a tool for exerting power over someone or creating emotional distance. If you're on the receiving end of this kind of treatment, you might feel completely ostracized.

How do you outsmart a narcissist silent treatment?

7:5112:05How to Outsmart Narcissists Silent Treatment End the Pain TodayYouTubeStart of suggested clipEnd of suggested clipBut you're allowed to stay healthy. And to engage in behaviors that make you feel proud of yourselfMoreBut you're allowed to stay healthy. And to engage in behaviors that make you feel proud of yourself that make you feel empowered. So you observe it and you respond. And you say okay well it looks like

How do you respond to emotional withholding?

Use "I" statements.For example, you may say, "I feel you are emotionally withholding from me and it bothers me" or "I feel we are not communicating our feelings as much as we could be and I would like us to try to figure out why that is."Try to be accepting and non-judgmental when you speak with your partner as well.

How do you respond to stonewalling?

Here Are Some Alternative Responses When My Partner Stonewalls MeEmpathy Goes a Long Way. ... Be Open and Available to Talk. ... Connect with One Another. ... Communication, Communication, Communication. ... Try to Avoid Going Toe to Toe. ... Focus on Your Self-Care. ... Pardon Your Partner. ... Stress Management.More items...•

What is silent treatment?

The silent treatment can happen in romantic relationships or any type of relationship, including between parents and children, friends, and co-workers. It can be a fleeting reaction to a situation in which one person feels angry, frustrated, or too overwhelmed to deal with a problem.

Why do people go silent?

But some people use the silent treatment as a tool for exerting power over someone or creating emotional distance.

What to do when your spouse is silent?

If it’s your spouse or partner, you both may benefit from couples counseling or individual therapy to learn better ways to manage conflicts. When the silent treatment is part of the larger issue of emotional abuse, don’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault.

How to deal with emotional abuse?

Make it about you. Ignore it. Offer solutions. Stand up for yourself. What not to do. Signs of emotional abuse. Get help. Takeaway. If you’ve ever found yourself in a situation where you couldn’t get someone to talk to you, or even acknowledge you, you’ve experienced the silent treatment.

How does being ostracized affect your self esteem?

Research shows that frequently feeling ostracized can reduce your self-esteem and sense of belonging. It can leave you feeling like you’re without control. This effect may be more intense when it’s done by someone close to you as a form of punishment. know the signs.

What to do when things escalate to emotional abuse?

When things escalate to emotional abuse, you’re not in a healthy relationship. It’s time to put yourself first. If you believe the relationship is worth salvaging: Set firm boundaries about what acceptable behavior is and how you expect to be treated.

Is silent treatment a good way to communicate?

While it’s not always malicious, the silent treatment certainly isn’t a healthy way to communicate. If the silent treatment looms large in your life, there are steps you can take to improve your relationship or remove yourself from an abusive situation. Last medically reviewed on April 30, 2019.

What is silent treatment?

What is the Silent Treatment. The silent treatment is an extreme form of communication based on unexpressed hurt feelings. It’s expression through repression, in which the wounded party is trying to convey the simple, albeit silent, message of “I am hurt.”.

What to do when your partner is silent?

Acting like nothing is wrong is probably the worst maneuver you can make when dealing with a partner who has gone silent. Hoping that they will simply come around, or just “get over it” generally doesn’t happen.

How to stop your partner from hurting you?

Own your hang ups. Accept that you have a toxic fighting style. Withholding your love through avoidance and silence is mean and cruel; you now this, because it was done to you. I know that deep down, all you want is for your partner to see that you are hurting. To come to you, to acknowledge your hurt feelings.

How to release emotions from past fights?

Some helpful ways of releasing built up emotions and stress from past fights include exercise, mediation, and deep breathing exercises . My favorite letting go practice is affirmations. I use them as a means of calming down and re-centering my thoughts, energy, and emotions.

Can you express your anger outside of fights?

Express How You Feel Outside of Fights. A fight is not, and should not, be the only time you express your hurt or anger. Sometimes, an unfortunate after-effect of experiencing trauma at a young age is that you fail to see other healthy alternatives for expressing your emotions.

How to end silent treatment?

The first step to ending the silent treatment is to recognize it for what it is —a tactic that, at best, works only short-term. True, not talking may quench your thirst for retaliation or compel your spouse to give in to your wishes.

What is silence in marriage?

Some spouses use silence as a form of revenge. For example, suppose a husband makes weekend plans without consulting his wife. When she finds out, she is angry and calls him inconsiderate. He responds by calling her oversensitive. The wife storms off and stews in silence.

Why is it important to have a temporary time out?

Of course, a temporary time-out can give a couple the opportunity to let emotions cool when an argument is getting out of hand. That type of silence can be beneficial. The Bible says that there is “a time to keep quiet.”.

How to get rid of the silent treatment?

2. Take a break. Familiarise yourself with a time-out (opens in a new tab). It’s a really useful strategy when you’re feeling too overwhelmed to think straight.

What does it mean when your partner stops talking to you?

If your partner seems to have stopped talking to you out of the blue or after a fight, clearly the two of you are having a conflict – even if you weren’t aware that you’d done something ‘wrong’.

Is the silent treatment good?

No, the silent treatment is seldom a good idea. When you’re using the silent treatment, you’re attempting to manipulate and control your partner or spouse. I can understand your resorting to not responding to your partner or spouse if they continue to batter your ears over something you really don’t want to talk about.

Is silent treatment a sign of a toxic relationship?

At worst, it can be a sign of a toxic relationship. At best, it’s an unhealthy attempt to make upset and displeasure clear and to provoke guilt and atonement. The above steps will help you to handle the silent treatment with dignity.

Is it safe to ignore your spouse?

Keep in mind…. there are no benefits of the silent treatment, though your spouse or partner may feel safer having built a wall of silence around them. you have the right to feel safe in your relationship – physically and emotionally – when your spouse ignores you, it’s hard to feel safe.

Why do people use the silent treatment?

People who use the silent treatment to win arguments and gain control need to understand the magnitude of their immature behavior. Confrontation lets them know that you see what they are doing and you understand the tactics they use. After telling them the truth, you can laugh about it.

How to win silent treatment?

1. Shrugging it off. One way to understand how to win the silent treatment is to brush it off or ignore it. If you aren’t necessarily in a close relationship with the person who is giving you the silent treatment, you may be able to just move on and act like nothing happened.

What is selfish treatment?

The selfish. People who haven’t been taught to care effectively for others in a household will use the silent treatment on a regular basis. Selfish people care for themselves over others and when something doesn’t go their way, they ignore others to make a statement.

What to do if you are silent?

If you are experiencing the silent treatment from someone you love, then therapy may be the only answer. This only works if your partner is willing to go to therapy in order to move forward. Unfortunately, so many people like using the silent treatment and don’t want a therapist taking that weapon away.

What happens when you are stuck in victim mentality?

So, when they are confronted with something they are doing wrong, they will grow silent and attempt to force their way.

What is silent treatment?

The "Silent treatment " is when you are engaged in a relationship with someone like a parent and child or a husband and wife and one person is not talking to the other as a means of punishing them.

Why do people use silent treatment?

The person giving someone "the silent treatment" is trying to let their victim know they are displeased by taking their love away. Unfortunately what they are taking away is not their love. What is being taken away is their "approval" not love.

What is the silent treatment of emotional abuse?

No discussion of emotional abuse through words would be complete without including the absence of words as a form of abuse. This is commonly known as "the silent treatment". Abusers punish their victims by refusing to speak to them or even acknowledge their presence. Through silence, the abusers communicate their displeasure, anger, frustration, ...

What is the silent treatment for narcissism?

The Silent Treatment [Types of Emotional Child Abuse Series, Part 1] – The Invisible Scar.

How to win with a toxic person?

The only way you can win with a toxic person is not to play. Avoiding someone or cutting someone out of your life who is a toxic person is not the same thing as the silent treatment. The "Silent treatment " is when you are engaged in a relationship with someone like a parent and child or a husband and wife and one person is not talking to the other as a means of punishing them. If a married couple throws in the towel and decides there is no other alternative than to get a divorce not talking may not be the silent treatment. It may just be not engaging a toxic person to do toxic behavior and is a means of self protection.

How does silent treatment make you feel?

How the Silent Treatment Makes Someone Feel. The silent treatment, even if it is brief , activates the anterior cingulate cortex- the part of the brain that detects physical pain. The initial pain is the same regardless of whether the exclusion is by strangers, close friends, or enemies.

Why is silent treatment so dangerous?

When someone engages in the silent treatment they typically are not intending to do harm. However, the damage that is done is enormous, which is why it is so dangerous. It gives the person it is being done to a feeling of "worthlessness".

What is silent treatment?

Silent treatment is a flat-out refusal to ever discuss the issue —now or later. In other words, their silence deflects the conversation and communicates that the issue is off-limits. When this happens, the person on the receiving end of the silent treatment must continue to wrestle with their pain and disappointment alone.

Why do people use silent treatment?

Research. Researchers have found that the silent treatment is used by both men and women to terminate a partner's behaviors or words rather than to elicit them. 1  In abusive relationships, the silent treatment is used to manipulate the other person and to establish power over them.

Why is a victim silent?

There are also instances when a victim of abuse is silent as a way to stay safe and keep an already abusive situation from escalating. In these situations, the victim knows that saying something—even if their partner demands it—will only escalate the situation and lead to more abuse.

What to do if your partner is silent?

If your partner is unwilling to change, you may want to consider your options including breaking off the relationship at some point.

What does silent treatment do to a relationship?

When the person using the silent treatment takes away the ability to communicate and collaborate with one another, the person on the receiving end often will go to great lengths to restore the verbal aspect of the relationship.

How to avoid taking responsibility for bad behavior?

Use the silent treatment to put you in your place. Give you the cold shoulder for days or weeks at a time. Refuse to talk, make eye contact, answer calls, or respond to texts. Fall back on the silent treatment when things don't go their way. Use it as a way to avoid taking responsibility for bad behavior.

How to use silence?

Use silence as a passive-aggressive way to control your behavior (e.g., you give in to demands or you avoid certain behaviors to avoid the silent treatment) Silence you when you attempt to assert yourself by refusing to talk. Use it as the primary means of dealing with conflict.

What happens if you initiate a fight with a toxic family?

Just remember, no matter how much they are hurting you, you should not start the fight. If you initiate the fight, you will be thrown in a bad light and that’s what they want. Related: How Coming From A Toxic Family Makes You Hard To Love. 3.

How to stay away from negative people?

One of the best policies to stay away from negative people is to ignore them. Don’t waste your time and energy thinking about the rubbish they are spreading about you.

What happens if your family doesn't nurture goodwill?

Relatives who don’t nurture goodwill for you will provoke you to engage in fights with them. Avoid that. If they are saying some bad stuff about you, just ignore it.

Does silent therapy work for narcissists?

Plus, the silent treatment works particularly well on sensitive, empathic people (who are often quite attractive to narcissists), because we are wired to respond to and attempt to soothe the emotions of the people around us, especially those we love.

Is silent treatment abuse?

Make No Mistake: The Silent Treatment IS Abuse. The fact is that the silent treatment is painful and it makes you miserable. As someone who is likely codependent, you may feel that you need to fix whatever you did wrong in order to get the narcissist to be nice to you again.