Treatment FAQ

how to stop the mind of bpd silent treatment

by Maya Reinger DDS Published 3 years ago Updated 2 years ago
image

Psychodynamic therapy, dialectical behavior therapy (DBT

Dialectical behavior therapy

Dialectical behavior therapy is an evidence-based psychotherapy that began with efforts to treat borderline personality disorder. DBT has been proven useful in treating mood disorders, suicidal ideation, and for change in behavioral patterns such as self-harm, and substance abuse. DBT ev…

), or psychiatric medications are among the first lines of treatment for quiet BPD. DBT teaches mindfulness strategies, emotional regulation, distress tolerance, and interpersonal effectiveness. With practice, this can help reduce self-destructive thoughts and actions.

Full Answer

Can you cure someone with BPD?

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) cannot be cured, and anyone who enters treatment looking for a quick and easy fix is bound to be disappointed. However, with treatment the symptoms of BPD can be effectively managed, monitored, and ultimately reduced in intensity, or entirely eliminated.

What is more effective therapy for BPD?

Treatment includes individual therapy sessions, skills training in a group setting, and phone coaching as needed. DBT is the most studied treatment for BPD and the one shown to be most effective. Mentalization-based therapy (MBT) is a talk therapy that helps people identify and understand what others might be thinking and feeling.

What are the stages of BPD recovery?

  • Psychotherapy. There are several types of therapy that have been shown to work well in the treatment of borderline personality disorder. ...
  • Medication. Two types of drugs are especially recommended. ...
  • Life skills and education classes. ...
  • Holistic mind-body healing techniques. ...
  • Additional treatment for co-occurring disorders. ...

How to respond to someone with BPD?

  • Make threats and ultimatums that you can’t carry out. As is human nature, your loved one will inevitably test the limits you set. ...
  • Tolerate abusive behavior. No one should have to put up with verbal abuse or physical violence. ...
  • Enable the person with BPD by protecting them from the consequences of their actions. ...

image

How do you stop BPD silent treatment?

How to respondName the situation. Acknowledge that someone is using the silent treatment. ... Use 'I' statements. ... Acknowledge the other person's feelings. ... Apologize for words or actions. ... Cool off and arrange a time to resolve the issue. ... Avoid unhelpful responses.

How do I calm my BPD thoughts?

Here are some tips on healthy ways to manage your anger with BPD.Count to 10. Hero Images / Getty Images. ... Notice Your Anger Earlier. Hero Images / Getty Images. ... Take a Break. Betsie Van Der Meer / Getty Images. ... Distract Yourself. ... Take Deep Breaths. ... Ground Yourself. ... Listen to Calming Music. ... Practice Letting Go.More items...•

How does quiet BPD feel?

If you have quiet BPD, you may have low self-esteem and often feel angry, depressed, or anxious. In addition, you may have a history of self-harm, suicidal thoughts, or both. With quiet BPD, you may also feel guilt or shame.

What triggers quiet BPD?

Some potential causes of quiet BPD may be the result of: Family history of various personality disorders. History of other mental health conditions (anxiety disorders, bipolar disorder, eating disorders, substance abuse, depression, etc.) History of neglect, abuse, trauma, or abandonment in childhood.

How do I break my BPD cycle?

Getting out of your head and concentrating on the physicality of moving your body can break the cycle of dark thoughts, maybe long enough to take that first step toward seeking treatment.

How do you stop borderline splitting?

Caring and ManagementCultivate empathy. Start by reminding yourself that splitting is part of the disorder. ... Encourage and support treatment. ... Maintain lines of communication. ... Remind your loved one that you care. ... Set boundaries. ... Take care of yourself. ... Try to manage your response.

Do borderlines isolate themselves?

Across the 20 years of the study, the rates of social isolation in the borderline participants ranged from 22 percent to 32 percent, with 26 percent remaining isolated at the end of the study period.

How long do borderline episodes last?

These experiences often result in impulsive actions and unstable relationships. A person with BPD may experience intense episodes of anger, depression, and anxiety that may last from only a few hours to days.”

Can you have BPD and like being alone?

A person with BPD is highly sensitive to abandonment and being alone, which brings about intense feelings of anger, fear, suicidal thoughts and self-harm, and very impulsive decisions.

What is it like living with quiet BPD?

Living with quiet borderline personality disorder can be exhausting and incredibly debilitating. It can stop a person from being able to enjoy their everyday life, as they struggle to cope with the intense thoughts and emotions that they experience.

Is Quiet BPD rare?

While people with quiet BPD often seem fine outwardly, they are struggling inside with feelings of intense loneliness, shame, or self-criticism. BPD is estimated to affect about 1.6% of the population at any one time. However, some estimates put the percentage closer to 6%.

What mimics borderline personality?

Some symptoms of BPD can be very similar to other mental health problems, including: bipolar disorder. complex post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) depression.

How to step out of quiet BPD?

To step out of Quiet BPD is to slowly undo the deeply ingrained beliefs that have kept you in isolation and perpetuated your psychic injuries. In truth, everyone in the world, including you, is perfect in their imperfections.

How to help someone with quiet BPD?

One of the best ways to help someone who’s struggling with Quiet BPD is to simply offer your support and make sure that they know that you’ll be there for them. You might not be able to understand exactly what’s going on inside their heart and mind, but you can make yourself available to them if they are ready to reach out.

Why is quiet BPD dangerous?

Quiet BPD is more dangerous than the classic form of the disease because it’s tough to fathom the emotional distress inside you. When you have emotional needs, you tend to numb out or dissociate. Instead of seeking help, you withdraw from those who care for you. Even if they try, you do not allow them to help you.

Why is BPD considered a quiet BPD?

***. Your BPD is deemed ‘Quiet BPD’ because, from a young age, you learned that it was not safe for you to express anger.

What does it mean to have quiet BPD?

Having Quiet BPD, however, means you ‘act in’. You feel and struggle with all the same things— The fears of abandonment, mood swings, extreme anxiety, impulsiveness, and black and white thinking (splitting); but instead of ‘exploding’, you implode. You may not have frequent anger outbursts, but you internalize your painful emotions and struggles.

How does hyper control affect therapy?

This need for hyper-control can affect your willingness to engage in therapy too. If you meet with a therapist who leaves the session relatively free-flow, ask few questions, or did not give you specific activities to do, you may feel lost and uncomfortable. You try to do or say the ‘right’ thing but your therapist neither approves nor disapproves. You may even blame yourself for not using the session well afterward. (This does not mean the therapy is ‘bad’ or not working; but it is worth sharing how you feel with your therapist. Hopefully, they will have an understanding of Complex Trauma/ CPTSD and the inhibition defense that comes from that. Together, you can hopefully slowly get used to taking up space for yourself, and trusting your organic expressions, rather than relying on external directions)

What does it mean when you have a disconnection with yourself?

As a result of the disconnection with yourself, you also do not have a robust ‘sense of self.’ This means you generally have a low awareness of your own emotions, desires, motivations, and needs.

What is silent treatment?

The silent treatment is an abusive method of control, punishment, avoidance, or disempowerment (some times these four typesoverlap, sometimes not) that is a favorite tactic of narcissists, and especially thosewho have a hard time with impulse control, that is, those with more infantile tendencies. The silent treatment can be used as anabusive tactic ...

What to tell someone to stop?

Another response that might get the person to stop is to tell him that his behavior appears immature, controlling, desperate, manipulative, ridiculous, etc. It’s best to do this if you truly do not feel affected by his behavior and can even laugh it off.

What to say when your spouse refuses to speak to you?

Your spouse refuses to speak to you or stomps around answering you in curt, clipped one-word answers. When you ask what’s bothering them, they say: If you cared about me/loved me, you’d know what’s bothering me. If you cared you’d apologize for what you did. Or they say nothing at all. 4.

How to make someone not take themselves so seriously?

Instead, appear (and truly feel, if possible) relaxed and positive. Laughing at them will only incite or enrage them, but if they use the silent-treatment regularly or other controlling, disempowering tactics, a sigh, smile and shake of the head (with maybe a strategic eye roll) can diffuse the situation. If done in a friendly, gentle manner,these gestures sends the message that you aren’t taking them so seriously and it gives them permission to back down and not take themselves so seriously.

Is silent therapy good for couples?

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy might be helpful.A couples therapist who is skilled in these methods might be a good choice.

Can you change your behavior in Psych Central?

The main thing is to develop a strong sense of self and not let it get to you. Remember, you can only change your behavior, not anyone else’s. Psych Central does not review the content that appears in our blog network (blogs.psychcentral.com) prior to publication.

What is the silent treatment?

Ah the silent treatment, that common game of emotional chicken that makes you search every inch of your brain trying to work out what you did wrong.

Why do people use silent treatment?

Some people may use the silent treatment if they are angry or overwhelmed and don’t know how to communicate in a healthy manner.

Why does the silent treatment hurt so much?

Being on the receiving end of this kind of treatment can be an emotional rollercoaster, you may feel isolated, angry, upset and confused. Essentially your brain is trying to solve a puzzle that it doesn’t have the answer to.

What is the first move in silent treatment?

Taking the silent treatment at face value, the first move is to opt for the softer approach and try to broach the subject of dispute.

Why does being a recipient of the silent treatment feel alien?

Being a recipient of the silent treatment feels alien because it goes against our basic social needs as human beings.

What to do if you think someone's behavior is beyond change?

If you think the person’s behavior is beyond change or the silent treatment repeats itself on a regular basis then you should consider leaving the relationship.

What to do if your girlfriend is not receptive?

If they don’t seem receptive, tell them you understand they may need some alone time. Be sure to try this multiple times and make sure that you’re happy that you’ve done as much as you can to resolve the dispute.

Success identifying a BPD date nine months after ending 11 year marriage with a BPD

So today I had a coffee date with a man who was super friendly, super intense, complemented my eyes about five times, told me how sweet and kind and smart I was, talked about places he would take me. He did all this while on this same date he was 15 minutes, got himself a coffee but didn’t offer me one.

I finally cut my loses

I posted on here probably two maybe three years ago seeking advice on how to handle my boyfriend constantly breaking up with me, using abusive language with me and a bunch of other toxic stuff. I deleted my posts because I wasn’t ready for all of the comments telling me that I needed to walk away. I should have listened.

Random gem about mirroring

Heard this today on social media: "You fell in love with the person they pretended to be. The person they were pretending to be was you." ❤

image
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9