how to respond to the silent treatment from mother

• Never beg or plead. It might stop the silent treatment for the time being but it will most definitely come up again.
• Do not retaliate. It just escalates things.
• Do not apologize when it is not your mistake. There is no use in putting an end to it like this. ...
• Do not undermine yourself. You are not to blame for how others treat you.
• Do not excuse the behavior. Please know that it is unacceptable and you always deserve an explanation.
• Do not broadcast. Avoid talking to random people about the silent treatment. For instance, there are situations where sharing your personal problems further angers your partner.
• Do not build a mountain out of a molehill. If you try to dig a little deeper, you might realize it is not that big of a problem. ...

How do you respond to the silent treatment?

Before diving into ways to respond to the silent treatment, it’s important to know how to recognize when it becomes abusive. Sometimes, going silent may be the best thing to avoid saying things you would later regret. People might also use it in moments where they don’t know how to express themselves or feel overwhelmed.

Why do people give the silent treatment?

People who use the silent treatment as a means of control want to put you in your place. They’ll give you the cold shoulder for days or weeks on end to achieve those goals. This is emotional abuse. It’s difficult to live that way, so you might be tempted to do everything you can to get back in their good graces, which perpetuates the cycle.

What happens when you use the silent treatment on your spouse?

When you’re using the silent treatment, you’re attempting to manipulate and control your partner or spouse. I can understand your resorting to not responding to your partner or spouse if they continue to batter your ears over something you really don’t want to talk about.

Is the silent treatment a sign of a toxic relationship?

Being given the silent treatment is never a pleasant experience. And it’s never a helpful approach, either! At worst, it can be a sign of a toxic relationship. At best, it’s an unhealthy attempt to make upset and displeasure clear and to provoke guilt and atonement. The above steps will help you to handle the silent treatment with dignity.

What do you do when your mom gives you the silent treatment?

Calmly tell the person that you've noticed they're not responding and you want to understand why. Emphasize that you want to resolve things. While it's not your fault that someone else decides to give you the silent treatment, you do have a responsibility to apologize if you've done something wrong.

When a parent gives a child the silent treatment?

Whether in a parent-child relationship or a romantic bond, silent treatment is thought to be the most harmless way of punishing another person. It does not involve physical or verbal abuse and so is considered to be a non-violent form of punishment.

What to do if your mom is not talking to you?

Choose a good time. Catch her in a quiet moment, and ask if you can talk to her for a minute. Understand if she doesn't want to listen to you. She may not be ready to hear what you have to say. Wait awhile, and ask again.

How long should the silent treatment last?

Ideally no more than 1 hour, hopefully less. Say “I will be back in *** (time) to continue the discussion” even if you can only manage to come back to agree to close it down for the time being, or take the matter to counselling.

Is it normal for your mom to give you the silent treatment?

We all have got the silent treatment from our parents and loved ones. You may even have given it to someone at some point in your life. Whether in a parent-child relationship or a romantic bond, silent treatment is thought to be the most harmless way of punishing another person.

Why do mothers give the silent treatment?

In romantic relationships, the silent treatment is used to avoid conflict, inflict punishment or because that person is frozen in silence, unable to communicate. For parent-child relationships, it's more often a result of parents feeling "overwhelmed and helpless", Ms James says.

What do you do when you feel like your mom hates you?

If you're convinced your mom hates you, talk to her. Let her know how her words, actions, and expectations are affecting you. There is a very good chance she doesn't even realize the impact of her behavior. You can't change your mom; you can only do you, so do it right.

What is a toxic mother daughter relationship?

Simply put, a toxic relationship is in which your mental, psychological, or physical well-being is put in danger. Often, toxic relationships can be borne out of good will, like if a parent finds themselves getting too involved in the intricacies of your personal life because they don't want anything bad to happen.

How do you know when your mother hates you?

There are some signs that, when noticed, could mean your mother hates you. The signs include: She never shows affection. She blames you for her unhappiness.

What type of person gives the silent treatment?

Researchers have found that the silent treatment is used by both men and women to terminate a partner's behaviors or words rather than to elicit them. 1 In abusive relationships, the silent treatment is used to manipulate the other person and to establish power over them.

How do you respond to emotional withholding?

Use "I" statements.For example, you may say, "I feel you are emotionally withholding from me and it bothers me" or "I feel we are not communicating our feelings as much as we could be and I would like us to try to figure out why that is."Try to be accepting and non-judgmental when you speak with your partner as well.

Is silent treatment manipulation?

The silent treatment is widely regarded as a form of emotional manipulation and even psychological abuse. It is the act of ceasing to initiate or respond to communication with someone else or refusing to acknowledge them altogether.

What is silent treatment?

The silent treatment is a manipulative tactic designed to control another person’s behavior with silence. It involves. refusing to speak with someone. blocking their phone number. blocking them on social media. ignoring them in person. avoiding any interaction with them.

Why is silent treatment considered mental abuse?

It’s even referred to as “mental murder” because the person giving you the silent treatment “kills” you in their mind. They act as if you didn’t exist, and that can be very painful. Research shows that our brains are wired to seek out connections.

What happens if a woman doesn't respond to her partner's treatment?

Unequipped to deal with such painful behavior from their partner, women dial up the intensity, trying to provoke a reaction — any reaction, positive or negative. If it doesn’t work, they may respond with the silent treatment, and the vicious cycle is set.

Why do people have difficulty communicating?

Individuals who have difficulty communicating because their emotional maturity has been stunted learn to give people the silent treatment as a form of punishment. These people usually operate from their ego, meaning that they believe in their rightness and are standing firm in their opinion, belief and/or experience. — Shirin Peykar, M.A. LMFT.

What does it mean when you crawl back to a narcissist?

It’s designed to bring you to your knees, so as you crawl back to the narcissist, you’re not thinking what’s right and what’s wrong. You just want the pain to stop.

Is silent treatment the same as physical pain?

So silent treatment is literally like experiencing physical pain. Think about that next time you’re giving someone a cold shoulder.

Is it harder to withstand the silent treatment?

So it’s that much harder for you to withstand the silent treatment . But withstand you must. There are times when you need to be the bigger person and apologize first. But when someone is giving you the silent treatment, this isn’t that time.

Hard Time Processing The Silent Treatment?

As a mom, I know it can be very emotionally wrenching when your (tween/teen/adult) daughter has closed herself off from you. You may feel offended, defensive, or even get argumentative.

Silent Self-Reflection

Here is something you may want to consider. When you look at yourself in your bathroom mirror, what is your first reaction? Do you…

What is silent treatment?

Silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse. It’s a control tactic used to confuse the victim and cause anxiety. It is a form of manipulation and it hurts to be on the receiving end.

Why do people go silent?

Sakurai collected the most common reasons from clients, support group members, and online surveys, to why people choose to go silent. These include: 1 They have been victims of emotional abuse themselves and see silent treatment as revenge. 2 They are narcissistic by nature. 3 They are not good at expressing themselves. 4 To punish the other person. 5 To control the other person / manipulate the situation. 6 To inflict emotional pain. 7 They feel they weren’t taken seriously, so communication just seems pointless. 8 Feeling too overwhelmed to talk about or deal with the issue. 9 Afraid of their temper. 10 Afraid of how the other person will react to what they have to say. 11 Hoping time will make the problem go away. 12 To inflict the pain they were put through.

How to stop someone from being angry?

respond in anger, which can just escalate things. beg or plead, which only encourages the behavior. apologize just to put an end to it, even though you did nothing wrong. continuing to try reasoning with the other person after you’ve already given it a shot.

Is silent treatment a defensive tactic?

The silent treatment isn’t always meant to hurt you. Sometimes, it’s a defensive mechanism or they simply don’t know how to respond yet. While other times it is a passive-aggressive tactic to hold control over you. “In these cases, what they want is for you to feel bad enough to make the first move.

How to get rid of the silent treatment?

2. Take a break. Familiarise yourself with a time-out (opens in a new tab). It’s a really useful strategy when you’re feeling too overwhelmed to think straight.

What does it mean when your partner stops talking to you?

If your partner seems to have stopped talking to you out of the blue or after a fight, clearly the two of you are having a conflict – even if you weren’t aware that you’d done something ‘wrong’.

Is the silent treatment good?

No, the silent treatment is seldom a good idea. When you’re using the silent treatment, you’re attempting to manipulate and control your partner or spouse. I can understand your resorting to not responding to your partner or spouse if they continue to batter your ears over something you really don’t want to talk about.

Can you change your partner's therapy?

you are not your partner’s therapist. you cannot change your partner, and neither should you change yourself to fit in with their demands beyond reasonable compromises. ‘giving back’ the silent treatment will result in a competition detrimental to the survival of your relationship.

Is silent treatment a sign of a toxic relationship?

At worst, it can be a sign of a toxic relationship. At best, it’s an unhealthy attempt to make upset and displeasure clear and to provoke guilt and atonement. The above steps will help you to handle the silent treatment with dignity.

Is it safe to ignore your spouse?

Keep in mind…. there are no benefits of the silent treatment, though your spouse or partner may feel safer having built a wall of silence around them. you have the right to feel safe in your relationship – physically and emotionally – when your spouse ignores you, it’s hard to feel safe.