Treatment FAQ

how to respond to silent treatment from mother

by Mckenna Lehner Published 2 years ago Updated 2 years ago
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How to respond
  1. Name the situation. Acknowledge that someone is using the silent treatment. ...
  2. Use 'I' statements. ...
  3. Acknowledge the other person's feelings. ...
  4. Apologize for words or actions. ...
  5. Cool off and arrange a time to resolve the issue. ...
  6. Avoid unhelpful responses.
Jun 8, 2020

What does it mean when your partner gives the silent treatment?

May 10, 2021 · TiredinTexas May 12, 2021. Since she hired a guardian service to relieve you of the burden of making care decisions, then let it go. You could let her know that she can remain silent if that’s her wish or she can reach out to you but that you’re not going to tolerate her behavior anymore. And then stick to it.

What is silent treatment from your mother?

How to Respond When Someone Gives You the Silent Treatment. 1. Take a gentle approach: Make it about them. If this isn’t something the other person regularly does to you, a gentle approach might be a good way ... 2. Or, make it about you. Tell the person how the silent treatment hurts and leaves you ...

How do you respond to the silent treatment?

Oct 19, 2020 · There are times when you need to be the bigger person and apologize first. But when someone is giving you the silent treatment, this isn’t that time. If the person is clearly ignoring you without giving any verbal warning that they need a break to sort things out, it’s emotional abuse, and a vicious one at that.

Does the silent treatment really work?

How you should deal with your mother that gives you the silent treatment, you ask. If you believe in God above and really believe in him that he hears you and answers your prayers, you have to have faith and pray for her and go on with your life. Be an example of what you would want someone to be to you.

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What do you do when your mom gives you the silent treatment?

Calmly tell the person that you've noticed they're not responding and you want to understand why. Emphasize that you want to resolve things. While it's not your fault that someone else decides to give you the silent treatment, you do have a responsibility to apologize if you've done something wrong.Apr 30, 2019

Why does my mom give me the silent treatment?

In romantic relationships, the silent treatment is used to avoid conflict, inflict punishment or because that person is frozen in silence, unable to communicate. For parent-child relationships, it's more often a result of parents feeling "overwhelmed and helpless", Ms James says.May 12, 2019

When a parent gives a child the silent treatment?

It is a form of temporary abandonment, where children may not feel supported and/or loved. Experts also believe it is also a manipulation tool, which compels the child to change or improve, even if they're not ready for it. Parents must avoid using silent treatment on their kids; what should they do instead?Feb 14, 2022

How do you respond to stonewalling?

So, if you are stonewalling and feeling flooded, say that you need a break using whatever signal, word, or phrase you and your partner have decided upon. Let each other know when you're feeling overwhelmed. Then, you need to walk away and do something soothing on your own.

What is the psychology behind the silent treatment?

The silent treatment is widely regarded as a form of emotional manipulation and even psychological abuse. It is the act of ceasing to initiate or respond to communication with someone else or refusing to acknowledge them altogether.Nov 27, 2018

Is silent treatment a form of control?

The silent treatment is the refusal to engage in verbal communication with someone, often as a response to conflict in a relationship. Also referred to as giving the cold shoulder or stonewalling, its use is a passive-aggressive form of control and can, in many circumstances, be considered a form of emotional abuse.Feb 22, 2022

Is silent treatment abuse parents?

Using the silent treatment is emotional abuse that can affect the victim as any other form of abuse. The silent treatment can be a traumatic experience for children of all ages, mostly when it is coming from parents. Children think they can trust their parents to stand by them, even when they make mistakes or fail.Nov 27, 2017

Why do boys become silent?

Men can be silent when they're angry, happy, fearful, or sad! It's confusing for everyone. Partners, mainly women, experience huge concern, confusion and anxiety when they experience the silence and withdrawal of their partner.

How long can the silent treatment last?

If the perpetrator still refuses to acknowledge the victim's existence for long periods of time, it might be right to leave the relationship. In the end, whether it lasts four hours or four decades, the silent treatment says more about the person doing it than it does about the person receiving it.Mar 26, 2021

How do you talk to someone who shuts you out?

What to say to someone when they are shutting you out“I understand you're feeling…”“I've given you a lot to consider. I'll give you time to digest.”“Let's take a breather and come back to this another time.”“I'm sorry I said…” or “I'm sorry I didn't…”“I'm not upset with you. ... “When you ignore me I feel…”

How do you talk to someone who shuts down?

7 Steps on How to Communicate with Someone Who Shuts DownGive them space. ... Show empathy and concern. ... Apologize, even if you've done nothing wrong. ... Express what it means to you to communicate effectively with them. ... Watch your tone of voice. ... Use humor. ... Do nothing and move on.Feb 2, 2022

How do narcissists respond to stonewalling?

When a narcissist stonewalls you or subjects you to the silent treatment, they want you to respond. They want you to chase after them and “beg” for their attention. They want to provoke you. They want to control and diminish you.

What is silent treatment?

The silent treatment is a manipulative tactic designed to control another person’s behavior with silence. It involves. refusing to speak with someone. blocking their phone number. blocking them on social media. ignoring them in person. avoiding any interaction with them.

Why is silent treatment considered mental abuse?

It’s even referred to as “mental murder” because the person giving you the silent treatment “kills” you in their mind. They act as if you didn’t exist, and that can be very painful. Research shows that our brains are wired to seek out connections.

What happens if a woman doesn't respond to her partner's treatment?

Unequipped to deal with such painful behavior from their partner, women dial up the intensity, trying to provoke a reaction — any reaction, positive or negative. If it doesn’t work, they may respond with the silent treatment, and the vicious cycle is set.

Why do people have difficulty communicating?

Individuals who have difficulty communicating because their emotional maturity has been stunted learn to give people the silent treatment as a form of punishment. These people usually operate from their ego, meaning that they believe in their rightness and are standing firm in their opinion, belief and/or experience. — Shirin Peykar, M.A. LMFT.

What does it mean when you crawl back to a narcissist?

It’s designed to bring you to your knees, so as you crawl back to the narcissist, you’re not thinking what’s right and what’s wrong. You just want the pain to stop.

Is silent treatment the same as physical pain?

So silent treatment is literally like experiencing physical pain. Think about that next time you’re giving someone a cold shoulder.

Is it harder to withstand the silent treatment?

So it’s that much harder for you to withstand the silent treatment . But withstand you must. There are times when you need to be the bigger person and apologize first. But when someone is giving you the silent treatment, this isn’t that time.

How to get rid of the silent treatment?

2. Take a break. Familiarise yourself with a time-out (opens in a new tab). It’s a really useful strategy when you’re feeling too overwhelmed to think straight.

What does it mean when your partner stops talking to you?

If your partner seems to have stopped talking to you out of the blue or after a fight, clearly the two of you are having a conflict – even if you weren’t aware that you’d done something ‘wrong’.

Is the silent treatment good?

No, the silent treatment is seldom a good idea. When you’re using the silent treatment, you’re attempting to manipulate and control your partner or spouse. I can understand your resorting to not responding to your partner or spouse if they continue to batter your ears over something you really don’t want to talk about.

Can you change your partner's therapy?

you are not your partner’s therapist. you cannot change your partner, and neither should you change yourself to fit in with their demands beyond reasonable compromises. ‘giving back’ the silent treatment will result in a competition detrimental to the survival of your relationship.

Is silent treatment a sign of a toxic relationship?

At worst, it can be a sign of a toxic relationship. At best, it’s an unhealthy attempt to make upset and displeasure clear and to provoke guilt and atonement. The above steps will help you to handle the silent treatment with dignity.

Is it safe to ignore your spouse?

Keep in mind…. there are no benefits of the silent treatment, though your spouse or partner may feel safer having built a wall of silence around them. you have the right to feel safe in your relationship – physically and emotionally – when your spouse ignores you, it’s hard to feel safe.

What is silent treatment?

Silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse. It’s a control tactic used to confuse the victim and cause anxiety. It is a form of manipulation and it hurts to be on the receiving end.

Why do people go silent?

Sakurai collected the most common reasons from clients, support group members, and online surveys, to why people choose to go silent. These include: 1 They have been victims of emotional abuse themselves and see silent treatment as revenge. 2 They are narcissistic by nature. 3 They are not good at expressing themselves. 4 To punish the other person. 5 To control the other person / manipulate the situation. 6 To inflict emotional pain. 7 They feel they weren’t taken seriously, so communication just seems pointless. 8 Feeling too overwhelmed to talk about or deal with the issue. 9 Afraid of their temper. 10 Afraid of how the other person will react to what they have to say. 11 Hoping time will make the problem go away. 12 To inflict the pain they were put through.

How to stop someone from being angry?

respond in anger, which can just escalate things. beg or plead, which only encourages the behavior. apologize just to put an end to it, even though you did nothing wrong. continuing to try reasoning with the other person after you’ve already given it a shot.

Is silent treatment a defensive tactic?

The silent treatment isn’t always meant to hurt you. Sometimes, it’s a defensive mechanism or they simply don’t know how to respond yet. While other times it is a passive-aggressive tactic to hold control over you. “In these cases, what they want is for you to feel bad enough to make the first move.

What is the silent treatment of a narcissist mother?

Remember, the silent treatment is a form of punishment. But what a narcissistic mother doesn’t understand is that by trying to punish you she is only punishing herself. 2. Gaslighting. Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation that makes a person question their reality.

What is the silent treatment?

The silent treatment is one of the worst forms of emotional abuse. It’s meant as a punishment, and as such, it’s an instrument of control. The silent treatment often leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and causes obsessive thinking.

What does it mean when your toxic mother triangulates you?

For example, your toxic mother triangulates you when she uses your sibling (third party) to manipulate you. She’ll tell them to ask you to do something when it’s her who wants that done.

How does your mother thrive amid ignorance?

Your mother thrives amid ignorance. The sooner you learn to recognize her manipulative behaviors , the better you’ll be at counteracting them, and the less power she will have over you. It’s not a solution (the only effective solution is no contact), but it’s a start. The start of you taking your power back.

What does it mean when your mother blames you?

When your mother habitually blames you (or others), she’s essentially projecting her own emotions onto you. It’s like she blames you for all the things she is, and does. Naturally, you’d feel offended and try your hardest to prove to your mother that she is wrong. If you do, you’re playing the “blame game” too.

How to stop gaslighting from a narcissistic mother?

That’s why the most radical thing you can do to counteract gaslighting from a narcissistic mother is deciding to trust yourself. Making that decision is the face of elaborate, convincing, or outrageous deception is no easy feat. Still, it’s the only real defense against gaslighting. Trust your truth, and stand by it.

What is a narcissistic mother?

A narcissistic mother is a master of covert warfare. She’s so good that half the time you’re not even sure what’s going on. But you’re smart. You’re catching on. Here are 5 manipulative tactics a narcissistic mother uses to get under your skin.

How to respond to silent treatment?

Here are some ways to respond to the silent treatment. 1. Take Time to Cool Off. During a time of silence both partners should pause to reflect on what led up to the silent treatment episode, especially if it was preceded by an argument, fight, or emotional outburst.

What is silent treatment?

The silent treatment is when one person in a relationship ignores the other person, refusing to acknowledge them verbally or through any other method. This usually happens after an argument, but it can also happen when the silent partner is angry and the other person doesn't know why. Being on the receiving end is painful and frustrating.

What is a good morning jellygator?

Good Morning jellygator so nice meeting you, just enjoyed your fascinating, detailed hub, you covered so many interesting situations about the heartaches of relationships. As well as ideas and possible solutions, relationships are something not always easy. An excellent hub for all those couples searching for answers. Happy to be following you. Linda

What does it mean when your partner is silent?

In some cases, the silent partner is attempting to escape another toxic dynamic. If you are trying to force them to change or do things your way, you're giving them a reason to withdraw. If you criticize them as a person or assigning blame instead of focusing on finding solutions, you're contributing to the dynamic. If you let yourself feel like a victim, get depressed, or pout, you must recognize that you've been engaging in control tactics, too, and pledge to stop.

How to deal with a silent spouse?

Give Your Partner Space to Think. Avoid trying to figure out what your silent partner or spouse is thinking. You're not a mind-reader. The silent treatment is a passive-aggressive form of communication. If you do their thinking for them, they won't learn how to be direct when sharing their thoughts and feelings.

Why do I need to take care of myself during silent treatment?

Since the silent treatment is a way for your partner to gain control, you need to take care of yourself so their behavior doesn't leave you feeling humiliated and rejected.

How to control your partner?

Changing Your Approach to the Relationship 1 Remind yourself that your partner feels uncertain and out of control. 2 Do not resort to sulking, pouting, or badgering. Try to maintain a calm attitude if you can. Take a walk to get a breath of air. 3 Consider whether you too might be trying to control the relationship more than your partner is comfortable with.

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