Treatment FAQ

how to respond to bpd silent treatment

by Alfonzo Reinger Published 3 years ago Updated 2 years ago
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So in order to respond to the silent treatment effectively, start by labeling what you are feeling if you are on the receiving end, like “I am feeling ignored by you being silent” Instead of “You are ignoring me”. Acknowledge Your Partner’s Feelings:

How to respond
  1. Name the situation. Acknowledge that someone is using the silent treatment. ...
  2. Use 'I' statements. ...
  3. Acknowledge the other person's feelings. ...
  4. Apologize for words or actions. ...
  5. Cool off and arrange a time to resolve the issue. ...
  6. Avoid unhelpful responses.
Jun 8, 2020

Full Answer

Can you cure someone with BPD?

Answer (1 of 9): I have Borderline Personality Disorder and my answer to this question is complicated. My mind races, 100mph, 24/7. When somebody initiates a feeling within me that they hate/don’t like/will leave me, I do shut down. My mind races so much that my mouth isn’t able to form any sent...

What is more effective therapy for BPD?

Jun 04, 2021 · So in order to respond to the silent treatment effectively, start by labeling what you are feeling if you are on the receiving end, like “I am feeling ignored by you being silent” Instead of “You are ignoring me”. Acknowledge Your Partner’s Feelings:

What are the stages of BPD recovery?

How to Respond When Someone Gives You the Silent Treatment 1. Take a gentle approach: Make it about them. If this isn’t something the other person regularly does to you, a gentle... 2. Or, make it about you. Tell the person how the silent treatment hurts …

How to respond to someone with BPD?

Apr 23, 2020 · Key things you should NOT do when responding to silent treatment and why. 11 Do not plead. Regardless of gender or the nature of the relationship, you shouldn’t plead or beg someone to stop the silent treatment. It’s always better to talk it out if possible. If not, you may want to leave it alone for a short time.

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How do you talk to someone with silent BPD?

Helping Someone Cope With Quiet BPDListen and be sympathetic. ... Ask questions. ... Validate their feelings. ... Help them practice self-soothing strategies. ... Set healthy boundaries. ... Consider making a family therapy appointment. ... Encourage them to use mindfulness techniques. ... Celebrate smaller wins.More items...•Nov 9, 2021

How do you deal with the silent treatment with dignity?

Maintain your dignity and try these six strategies.Look for the reasons behind the silent treatment. ... Share the psychology behind silent treatment. ... Avoid reacting to silent abuse. ... Respond with calmness and speak kindly. ... State your boundaries clearly. ... Take care of yourself. ... Consider professional therapy.Apr 26, 2021

How long does the silent treatment last?

If the perpetrator still refuses to acknowledge the victim's existence for long periods of time, it might be right to leave the relationship. In the end, whether it lasts four hours or four decades, the silent treatment says more about the person doing it than it does about the person receiving it.Mar 26, 2021

How do you let someone with BPD know you care?

To help someone with BPD, first take care of yourselfAvoid the temptation to isolate. ... You're allowed (and encouraged) to have a life! ... Join a support group for BPD family members. ... Don't neglect your physical health. ... Learn to manage stress. ... Listen actively and be sympathetic. ... Focus on the emotions, not the words.More items...

How do you break the silent treatment?

Calmly tell the person that you've noticed they're not responding and you want to understand why. Emphasize that you want to resolve things. While it's not your fault that someone else decides to give you the silent treatment, you do have a responsibility to apologize if you've done something wrong.Apr 30, 2019

How can the silent treatment backfire?

If done in a friendly, gentle manner,these gestures sends the message that you aren't taking them so seriously and it gives them permission to back down and not take themselves so seriously. If your colleague or boss has no sense of humor, or is truly a narcissist, this will backfire, so be careful!Nov 18, 2014

What type of person gives the silent treatment?

Research. Researchers have found that the silent treatment is used by both men and women to terminate a partner's behaviors or words rather than to elicit them. 1 In abusive relationships, the silent treatment is used to manipulate the other person and to establish power over them.Jun 1, 2020

Does silent treatment mean break up?

The silent treatment is a particularly toxic form of behavior that can lead to the breakdown of relationships. When a partner gives you the silent treatment, you might feel a crazy need to make him talk.

Is giving the silent treatment immature?

At best the silent treatment isan immature behavior used by spoiled brats and manipulativeindividuals. At worst, it is a weapon used by abusers to punish their victims.Jul 11, 2016

What should you not say to someone with BPD?

“You're so emotionally unstable.” ... “You don't need to get so angry all the time.” ... “You're so stupid, you spend all of your money without thinking about the consequences.” ... “What caused that disorder?” ... “I can't cope with you and your mood swings!”

How do you deal with borderline splitting?

Caring and ManagementCultivate empathy. Start by reminding yourself that splitting is part of the disorder. ... Encourage and support treatment. ... Maintain lines of communication. ... Remind your loved one that you care. ... Set boundaries. ... Take care of yourself. ... Try to manage your response.Jul 18, 2021

How do you calm down a borderline personality disorder?

The following 9 strategies can help you support a person with BPD:Learn about BPD. ... Show confidence and respect. ... Be trustworthy. ... Manage conflict with attachment. ... Encourage Professional Help. ... Identify strengths. ... Have fun together. ... Take suicide seriously.More items...•Mar 22, 2019

How to respond to silent treatment?

Begging your partner to talk and speak up in response to the silent treatment will never work. Instead of your pleading your partner, again and again, to talk to you about the issue, simply state clearly that you are there to listen and willing to talk whenever they are ready.

What is silent treatment?

The silent treatment is a painful behavior opted by one of the partners in a relationship when one ignores the other partner, not acknowledging them through any form of communication.

What does it mean when a narcissist gives a silent treatment?

He does not care about other people feelings and he only cares about his own self. So when a narcissist gives the silent treatment, he is looking to exploit you . He wants you to submit to him, listen to him, and obey him. In a silent treatment, a narcissist wants you to beg him and pay attention to him, even if he is wrong.

Is silent treatment considered mental abuse?

It is important to note that silent treatment is classified as a form of mental abuse and that no one, whether male or female, deserves the silent treatment in a loving, healthy relationship.

What to do if he is not taking a step?

If he is still not taking a step after you clearing your values and boundaries clearly and waiting for him to take the step, then it’s time to reevaluate your relationship closely.

Is it important to take a break from your partner?

Taking a break for yourself is important, but allowing your partner some space is equally important as well. It is a common mistake to repeatedly ask your partner about ‘What is wrong?’ when he/she is giving you the silent treatment.

Is silent treatment a psychological problem?

The silent treatment is no doubt a psychological problem in many cases. Silent treatment consists of many psychological strategies and behavior with a single target to ignore the other partner.

What is silent treatment?

The silent treatment can happen in romantic relationships or any type of relationship, including between parents and children, friends, and co-workers. It can be a fleeting reaction to a situation in which one person feels angry, frustrated, or too overwhelmed to deal with a problem.

Why do people go silent?

But some people use the silent treatment as a tool for exerting power over someone or creating emotional distance.

How to deal with emotional abuse?

Make it about you. Ignore it. Offer solutions. Stand up for yourself. What not to do. Signs of emotional abuse. Get help. Takeaway. If you’ve ever found yourself in a situation where you couldn’t get someone to talk to you, or even acknowledge you, you’ve experienced the silent treatment.

Is silent treatment a form of emotional abuse?

Recognizing other types of emotional abuse. The silent treatment doesn’t always relate to emotional abuse. Some people lack effective communication skills or need to retreat into themselves to work things out. To emotional abusers, though, the silent treatment is a weapon of control.

Is silent treatment a good way to communicate?

While it’s not always malicious, the silent treatment certainly isn’t a healthy way to communicate. If the silent treatment looms large in your life, there are steps you can take to improve your relationship or remove yourself from an abusive situation. Last medically reviewed on April 30, 2019.

Is silent treatment always meant to inflict wounds?

The silent treatment isn’t always meant to inflict wounds. Sometimes, it’s an isolated incident that gets out of hand. You can let it slide until they come around and move on.

Why is borderline genetics important?

Genetic factors are important - borderline tends to RUN in families . The risk of developing borderline is 6 times higher when a close relative has the disorder. In studies of identical twins, researchers have discovered that many personality traits are genetically determined.

What does "you have your hands full" mean?

First sentence "If you are an adult in a relationship with another adult, either through blood or through a romantic liaison, who fits the description of a patient diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD), then you already know that you have your hands full.". That applies (or could apply) to a parent of a BPD as the adult.

What to do if you are silent?

If you are experiencing the silent treatment from someone you love, then therapy may be the only answer. This only works if your partner is willing to go to therapy in order to move forward. Unfortunately, so many people like using the silent treatment and don’t want a therapist taking that weapon away.

Why do people use the silent treatment?

People who use the silent treatment to win arguments and gain control need to understand the magnitude of their immature behavior. Confrontation lets them know that you see what they are doing and you understand the tactics they use. After telling them the truth, you can laugh about it.

What is a narcissist?

The narcissist. The narcissist is a troubled and sad individual. Among their weapons of choice, like their other manipulation techniques, they also utilize the silent treatment. The narcissist, since they are void of all original inner substance, will use the silent treatment to further establish who they are.

How to win silent treatment?

1. Shrugging it off. One way to understand how to win the silent treatment is to brush it off or ignore it. If you aren’t necessarily in a close relationship with the person who is giving you the silent treatment, you may be able to just move on and act like nothing happened.

What does it mean when someone ignores others?

People who haven’t been taught to care effectively for others in a household will use the silent treatment on a regular basis. Selfish people care for themselves over others and when something doesn’t go their way, they ignore others to make a statement.

Who is Sherrie Hurd?

Sherrie Hurd is a professional writer and artist with over 20 years of experience. As a survivor of childhood trauma and multiple types of abuse, she is an advocate for mental health awareness. Sherrie manages multiple mental illnesses, including anxiety disorder, bipolar disorder, and PTSD. With this background and personal experience, she strives to help others overcome trauma and abuse, cope with mental illness, and heal over time.

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