how to respond after the silent treatment

5 effective ways to respond to the silent treatment

1. Close the emotional distance. Offer the olive branch. Taking the silent treatment at face value, the first move is to...
2. Stand up for yourself. If the first option isn’t the right thing for you or doesn’t fit with the situation then tell...
3. Wait for the storm to pass. Ok so not exactly a groundbreaking...

Full Answer

What is the best way to handle the silent treatment?

Jun 05, 2018 · How to respond to the silent treatment with dignity. Step 1: Present your partner or spouse with the research. They need to know there’s good evidence that ignoring you is endangering the future of your ... Step 2: Write them a letter. …

How long should I tolerate the silent treatment?

5 effective ways to respond to the silent treatment 1. Close the emotional distance. Offer the olive branch. Taking the silent treatment at face value, the first move is to... 2. Stand up for yourself. If the first option isn’t the right thing for you or doesn’t fit with the situation then tell... ...

What is the purpose of giving someone the "silent treatment"?

Oct 19, 2020 · How to Respond to the Silent Treatment? The previous example with the narcissist illustrates that whoever is giving you the silent treatment wants to cause you emotional pain. They want you to feel guilt, shame, confusion, and fear. They also want you to chase after them and beg them to take you back.

Does the silent treatment really work?

Apr 30, 2019 · How to Respond When Someone Gives You the Silent Treatment 1. Take a gentle approach: Make it about them. If this isn’t something the other person regularly does to you, a gentle... 2. Or, make it about you. Tell the person how the silent treatment hurts and leaves you feeling frustrated and alone. ...

How do I reconnect after the silent treatment?

Calmly tell the person that you've noticed they're not responding and you want to understand why. Emphasize that you want to resolve things. While it's not your fault that someone else decides to give you the silent treatment, you do have a responsibility to apologize if you've done something wrong.30 Apr 2019

How do you respond to silent treatment over text?

The best way to respond to the silent treatment include: Create Space. ... Create Boundaries. ... Respect Yourself and Others.

How do you respond to silent treatment or stonewalling?

“Communicate about the silent treatment, stating what you observe by using 'I' statements,” Gordon says. For example, “I notice you're shutting down and not responding to me.” Then use more 'I' statements (because those don't place blame on the other person) to explain how their silence makes you feel.7 Dec 2021

Do they come back after silent treatment?

Yes! They most often come back after ending the relationship if there is still enough supply for them.18 Jun 2013

How do you break a silent text?

Here are my 18 best tips to avoid awkward silence:Ask open-ended questions. ... Stop seeing silence as your fault. ... Give more than bare minimum answers. ... Talk about feelings and opinions instead of facts. ... Go back to a previous topic. ... See it as a sign to end the conversation. ... Lower your standards for what to say.More items...

What type of person gives the silent treatment?

Research. Researchers have found that the silent treatment is used by both men and women to terminate a partner's behaviors or words rather than to elicit them. 1 In abusive relationships, the silent treatment is used to manipulate the other person and to establish power over them.1 Jun 2020

How can the silent treatment backfire?

If done in a friendly, gentle manner,these gestures sends the message that you aren't taking them so seriously and it gives them permission to back down and not take themselves so seriously. If your colleague or boss has no sense of humor, or is truly a narcissist, this will backfire, so be careful!18 Nov 2014

Why do men go silent?

Men can be silent when they're angry, happy, fearful, or sad! It's confusing for everyone. Partners, mainly women, experience huge concern, confusion and anxiety when they experience the silence and withdrawal of their partner.

How long does silent treatment last?

If the perpetrator still refuses to acknowledge the victim's existence for long periods of time, it might be right to leave the relationship. In the end, whether it lasts four hours or four decades, the silent treatment says more about the person doing it than it does about the person receiving it.26 Mar 2021

Why is silence the best revenge?

Silence speaks volumes Believe it, the silence and zero reaction really bothers your ex, and they consider it as the best served revenge. Nothing creates more curiosity than silence. Your ex would expect a vent or an angry rant from you, but don't give in. If you do, you are meeting their expectations.9 Sept 2019

Does silent treatment mean break up?

The silent treatment is a particularly toxic form of behavior that can lead to the breakdown of relationships. When a partner gives you the silent treatment, you might feel a crazy need to make him talk.

What does silence do to a man?

Findings from his in-depth analysis revealed that the silent treatment is 'tremendously' damaging to a relationship. It decreases relationship satisfaction for both partners, diminishes feelings of intimacy, and reduces the capacity to communicate in a way that's healthy and meaningful.

Why does the silent treatment hurt so much?

Being on the receiving end of this kind of treatment can be an emotional rollercoaster, you may feel isolated, angry, upset and confused. Essentially your brain is trying to solve a puzzle that it doesn’t have the answer to.

5 effective ways to respond to the silent treatment

Taking the silent treatment at face value, the first move is to opt for the softer approach and try to broach the subject of dispute.

Why the silent treatment needs to be banned

Professor Paul Schrodt is a leading figure in the research around why the silent treatment is bad for relationships.

Conclusion

After reading the article you should now know that unless there is a really good reason, the silent treatment should be avoided at all costs.

What is silent treatment?

The silent treatment is a manipulative tactic designed to control another person’s behavior with silence. It involves. refusing to speak with someone. blocking their phone number. blocking them on social media. ignoring them in person. avoiding any interaction with them.

Why is silent treatment considered mental abuse?

It’s even referred to as “mental murder” because the person giving you the silent treatment “kills” you in their mind. They act as if you didn’t exist, and that can be very painful. Research shows that our brains are wired to seek out connections.

What happens if a woman doesn't respond to her partner's treatment?

Unequipped to deal with such painful behavior from their partner, women dial up the intensity, trying to provoke a reaction — any reaction, positive or negative. If it doesn’t work, they may respond with the silent treatment, and the vicious cycle is set.

Why do people have difficulty communicating?

Individuals who have difficulty communicating because their emotional maturity has been stunted learn to give people the silent treatment as a form of punishment. These people usually operate from their ego, meaning that they believe in their rightness and are standing firm in their opinion, belief and/or experience. — Shirin Peykar, M.A. LMFT.

What does it mean when you crawl back to a narcissist?

It’s designed to bring you to your knees, so as you crawl back to the narcissist, you’re not thinking what’s right and what’s wrong. You just want the pain to stop.

Is silent treatment the same as physical pain?

So silent treatment is literally like experiencing physical pain. Think about that next time you’re giving someone a cold shoulder.

Is it harder to withstand the silent treatment?

So it’s that much harder for you to withstand the silent treatment . But withstand you must. There are times when you need to be the bigger person and apologize first. But when someone is giving you the silent treatment, this isn’t that time.

What is silent treatment?

The silent treatment can happen in romantic relationships or any type of relationship, including between parents and children, friends, and co-workers. It can be a fleeting reaction to a situation in which one person feels angry, frustrated, or too overwhelmed to deal with a problem.

What to do when your spouse is silent?

If it’s your spouse or partner, you both may benefit from couples counseling or individual therapy to learn better ways to manage conflicts. When the silent treatment is part of the larger issue of emotional abuse, don’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault.

How to deal with emotional abuse?

Make it about you. Ignore it. Offer solutions. Stand up for yourself. What not to do. Signs of emotional abuse. Get help. Takeaway. If you’ve ever found yourself in a situation where you couldn’t get someone to talk to you, or even acknowledge you, you’ve experienced the silent treatment.

What to do when things escalate to emotional abuse?

When things escalate to emotional abuse, you’re not in a healthy relationship. It’s time to put yourself first. If you believe the relationship is worth salvaging: Set firm boundaries about what acceptable behavior is and how you expect to be treated.

Why do people go silent?

But some people use the silent treatment as a tool for exerting power over someone or creating emotional distance.

Is silent treatment a good way to communicate?

While it’s not always malicious, the silent treatment certainly isn’t a healthy way to communicate. If the silent treatment looms large in your life, there are steps you can take to improve your relationship or remove yourself from an abusive situation. Last medically reviewed on April 30, 2019.

Is silent treatment always meant to inflict wounds?

The silent treatment isn’t always meant to inflict wounds. Sometimes, it’s an isolated incident that gets out of hand. You can let it slide until they come around and move on.

What does it mean when a narcissist gives a silent treatment?

He does not care about other people feelings and he only cares about his own self. So when a narcissist gives the silent treatment, he is looking to exploit you . He wants you to submit to him, listen to him, and obey him. In a silent treatment, a narcissist wants you to beg him and pay attention to him, even if he is wrong.

What is silent treatment?

The silent treatment is a painful behavior opted by one of the partners in a relationship when one ignores the other partner, not acknowledging them through any form of communication.

What to do if he is not taking a step?

If he is still not taking a step after you clearing your values and boundaries clearly and waiting for him to take the step, then it’s time to reevaluate your relationship closely.

Is silent treatment a psychological problem?

The silent treatment is no doubt a psychological problem in many cases. Silent treatment consists of many psychological strategies and behavior with a single target to ignore the other partner.

Is silent treatment painful?

Receiving any kind of silent treatment is painful and feels like a punishment. Actually, it’s a form of punishment that was used in prison or other disciplinary institutes to ‘teach a lesson’.

Is silent treatment considered mental abuse?

It is important to note that silent treatment is classified as a form of mental abuse and that no one, whether male or female, deserves the silent treatment in a loving, healthy relationship.

Is it important to take a break from your partner?

Taking a break for yourself is important, but allowing your partner some space is equally important as well. It is a common mistake to repeatedly ask your partner about ‘What is wrong?’ when he/she is giving you the silent treatment.

What is silent treatment?

Silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse. It’s a control tactic used to confuse the victim and cause anxiety. It is a form of manipulation and it hurts to be on the receiving end.

Why do people go silent?

Sakurai collected the most common reasons from clients, support group members, and online surveys, to why people choose to go silent. These include: 1 They have been victims of emotional abuse themselves and see silent treatment as revenge. 2 They are narcissistic by nature. 3 They are not good at expressing themselves. 4 To punish the other person. 5 To control the other person / manipulate the situation. 6 To inflict emotional pain. 7 They feel they weren’t taken seriously, so communication just seems pointless. 8 Feeling too overwhelmed to talk about or deal with the issue. 9 Afraid of their temper. 10 Afraid of how the other person will react to what they have to say. 11 Hoping time will make the problem go away. 12 To inflict the pain they were put through.

How to stop someone from being angry?

respond in anger, which can just escalate things. beg or plead, which only encourages the behavior. apologize just to put an end to it, even though you did nothing wrong. continuing to try reasoning with the other person after you’ve already given it a shot.

Is silent treatment a defensive tactic?

The silent treatment isn’t always meant to hurt you. Sometimes, it’s a defensive mechanism or they simply don’t know how to respond yet. While other times it is a passive-aggressive tactic to hold control over you. “In these cases, what they want is for you to feel bad enough to make the first move.

Why is silent treatment considered abuse?

This is obviously another reason why the silent treatment is abuse: they want you to hurt, and they want you to show it to them. This, in turn, makes them feel happy. It makes them feel like they’re the most important person in the world and they ‘own’ you and your mind. Whatever you do, do not show them that their silent treatment is effecting you.

How do narcissists feel?

You see, to a narcissistic person, they feel good knowing they are getting to you. It is their main goal, and if you let them know it’s bothering you, they feel like they have won. In their controlling and manipulative head, they are the bigger and better person and they can mess with you any way they please.

Is it sick to beg a narcissist?

Yes, it’s sick to think about, but when you beg to a narcissistic person, it makes them feel even better about themselves and may actually prolong the length of time in which they give you the silent treatment.

Is silent treatment abuse harsh?

You might be thinking that calling the silent treatment abuse is somewhat harsh. After all, there is a vast majority of individuals who only consider bodily harm as abuse. And this is somewhat true- bodily harm and injury is a form of abuse known as physical abuse, but there are two other types of abuse that are just as horrible, ...

What happens if you don't get an answer from someone?

They know that by not getting an answer from them, you will likely start blaming yourself. You’ll apologise when you’ve no idea what you’re apologising for and try to do everything right this time, until the next time. Don’t play into their hands.

How do narcissists express their disapproval?

The narcissist will express their disapproval by shutting down, withdrawing any love or affection, refusing to communicate and denying their target any explanation. Why? Avoidance, control, disempowerment and/or punishment, punishment for some perceived slight that their target is completely unaware of.

What do people not anticipate?

What these people do not anticipate is your knowledge of their twisted mind games. They don’t expect you to know how to play these mind games better than they can. Instead of crawling back to them, let them crawl back into whatever hole they have created for themselves and give them a taste of their own medicine.

Can you walk away from a narcissist?

Despite overwhelming advice that not to stay with a narcissist is the best thing one can possibly do for oneself in order to enjoy a normal peaceful life, some find that they cannot walk away.

Can a narcissist read emails?

The narcissist will read all your texts and emails and will get a tremendous amount of satisfaction from them. Oh, how it makes them feel important! It is perfectly normal, for a target of this form of abuse, to reach out in an attempt to resolve the situation.