Treatment FAQ

how to handle the silent treatment at work

by Dr. Reese Schowalter V Published 3 years ago Updated 2 years ago
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  • Never beg or plead. It might stop the silent treatment for the time being but it will most definitely come up again.
  • Do not retaliate. It just escalates things.
  • Do not apologize when it is not your mistake. ...
  • Do not undermine yourself. ...
  • Do not excuse the behavior. ...
  • Do not broadcast. ...
  • Do not build a mountain out of a molehill. ...

Meet With a Coworker Who Gives You the Silent Treatment
Explain that you feel you're being ignored and apologize in advance for anything you may have said or done to offend them. Express your interest in having a better working relationship and ask for suggestions on how to make that happen.

Full Answer

Does the silent treatment really work?

We now have pretty conclusive evidence from dozens of country and state studies that lockdowns were a highly ineffective way to combat the virus. Lockdowns may have saved some lives, but this response was the equivalent of trying to remove a tumor with a sledgehammer.

How do you respond to the silent treatment?

When Labour MP Stephen McCabe was told he had a heart murmur that needed attention ‘very urgently’, his initial response was to dismiss the advice ... Once detected, treatment may involve blood pressure drugs to open the arteries, blood thinners ...

How long to give someone the silent treatment?

The silent treatment is about punishment and control. It may begin in a subtle fashion and there is frequently no discernible trigger for it. Question: Who could give 9 hours silent treatment in a car? Answer: It's not beyond the realms of possibility. It all depends upon the individuals and their underlying motives.

How to respond to the silent treatment?

Key things to do when responding to the silent treatment and why:

  1. Give the angry party some space. Before you do anything, you should give the angry party some space and time alone so that they can be with their feelings. ...
  2. Rethink the situation from the other person’s point of view. ...
  3. Seek the opinion of a trusted third party. ...
  4. Ask to know what is wrong. ...
  5. Apologize. ...

More items...

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How do you respond to silent treatment at work?

How to respondName the situation. Acknowledge that someone is using the silent treatment. ... Use 'I' statements. ... Acknowledge the other person's feelings. ... Apologize for words or actions. ... Cool off and arrange a time to resolve the issue. ... Avoid unhelpful responses.

Is silent treatment considered hostile work environment?

Workplace bullying tactics can include engaging in hostile staring or nonverbal intimidation; giving someone the “silent treatment”; making up rules for specific people; singling out and isolating one person from his coworkers; yelling, screaming, or throwing tantrums in front of others to humiliate someone; and ...

Why is my boss giving me the silent treatment?

He gives you the silent treatment “This is a sign that he may be frustrated with you but isn't in the mood to actually talk this out,” he says. This is one situation you shouldn't ignore and hope it will go away: Go to your boss as soon as possible to clear the air.

What does silent treatment do to a person?

The silent treatment is a particularly insidious form of abuse because it might force the victim to reconcile with the perpetrator in an effort to end the behavior, even if the victim doesn't know why they're apologizing. “It's especially controlling because it deprives both sides from weighing in,” Williams said.

What type of person gives the silent treatment?

The silent treatment can happen in romantic relationships or any type of relationship, including between parents and children, friends, and co-workers. It can be a fleeting reaction to a situation in which one person feels angry, frustrated, or too overwhelmed to deal with a problem.

How long should the silent treatment last?

Ideally no more than 1 hour, hopefully less. Say “I will be back in *** (time) to continue the discussion” even if you can only manage to come back to agree to close it down for the time being, or take the matter to counselling.

How do you tell if your boss secretly hates you?

Here are seven revealing signs that your boss just isn't that into you and what to do about it.You're Being Micromanaged. ... You Never Get Feedback. ... You Get Turned Down for a Raise Without Much Explanation. ... You Can't Get Your Manager's Attention. ... You're Left Out of Important Meetings.More items...

How do you know if my boss is trying to get rid of me?

10 Signs Your Boss Wants You to QuitYou don't get new, different or challenging assignments anymore.You don't receive support for your professional growth.Your boss avoids you.Your daily tasks are micromanaged.You're excluded from meetings and conversations.Your benefits or job title changed.More items...

What bosses should not say to employees?

7 things a boss should never say to an employee“You Must do What I Say because I Pay you” ... “You Should Work Better” ... “It's Your Problem” ... “I Don't Care What You Think” ... “You Should Spend More Time at Work” ... “You're Doing Okay” ... 7. ”You're lucky to have a job” ... 6 Ways to Act on Your Ambition.More items...•

Is the silent treatment disrespectful?

"Many of us are prone to sulk or to pout, and that is an early form of giving somebody the silent treatment." Parrott, a psychology professor at Seattle Pacific University, says nothing good comes from the silent treatment because it's "manipulative, disrespectful and not productive."

Is silent treatment a red flag?

The Silent Treatment is Your S.O.'s Main Conflict Technique If you're in a relationship, conflicts and arguments come with the territory. Managing these conflicts and working through them together are a necessary part of developing a healthy relationship, which makes the silent treatment a huge red flag.

How do you deal with being ignored?

How Do You Respond To Being Ignored?Take a step back. Your partner may simply need some space to collect their thoughts and deal with their own emotions. ... Distract yourself. ... Check if they are actually ignoring you. ... Try not to overreact. ... Communicate.

What is silent treatment?

The silent treatment can happen in romantic relationships or any type of relationship, including between parents and children, friends, and co-workers. It can be a fleeting reaction to a situation in which one person feels angry, frustrated, or too overwhelmed to deal with a problem.

How does silent treatment affect self esteem?

When it’s used regularly as a power play, it can make you feel rejected or excluded. This can have a huge effect on your self-esteem.

How to deal with emotional abuse?

Make it about you. Ignore it. Offer solutions. Stand up for yourself. What not to do. Signs of emotional abuse. Get help. Takeaway. If you’ve ever found yourself in a situation where you couldn’t get someone to talk to you, or even acknowledge you, you’ve experienced the silent treatment.

How does being ostracized affect your self esteem?

Research shows that frequently feeling ostracized can reduce your self-esteem and sense of belonging. It can leave you feeling like you’re without control. This effect may be more intense when it’s done by someone close to you as a form of punishment. know the signs.

What to do when things escalate to emotional abuse?

When things escalate to emotional abuse, you’re not in a healthy relationship. It’s time to put yourself first. If you believe the relationship is worth salvaging: Set firm boundaries about what acceptable behavior is and how you expect to be treated.

Why do people go silent?

But some people use the silent treatment as a tool for exerting power over someone or creating emotional distance.

When the silent treatment is part of the larger issue of emotional abuse, don't blame yourself. It's not?

When the silent treatment is part of the larger issue of emotional abuse, don’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault. You’re not responsible for their behavior, no matter what they tell you. If that person genuinely wants to change, they’ll get themselves into counseling.

What is silent treatment?

The silent treatment is an abusive method of control, punishment, avoidance, or disempowerment (some times these four typesoverlap, sometimes not) that is a favorite tactic of narcissists, and especially thosewho have a hard time with impulse control, that is, those with more infantile tendencies. The silent treatment can be used as anabusive tactic ...

What to tell someone to stop?

Another response that might get the person to stop is to tell him that his behavior appears immature, controlling, desperate, manipulative, ridiculous, etc. It’s best to do this if you truly do not feel affected by his behavior and can even laugh it off.

What does it mean when an abuser gives you the cold shoulder?

3.When the abuser gives you the cold-shoulder and refuses to speak to you because you’ve said/done something that bothers them and will not even tellyou what it is that you’ve said or done, leaving you powerless to make an apology. This is punishing and disempowering you with silence.

What are some examples of curt sentences?

An example might be your mom wants you to come for the holidays and you can’t this year, so she either refuses to take your phone calls or she speaks to you in curt, clipped sentences.

What to say when your spouse refuses to speak to you?

Your spouse refuses to speak to you or stomps around answering you in curt, clipped one-word answers. When you ask what’s bothering them, they say: If you cared about me/loved me, you’d know what’s bothering me. If you cared you’d apologize for what you did. Or they say nothing at all. 4.

How to make someone not take themselves so seriously?

Instead, appear (and truly feel, if possible) relaxed and positive. Laughing at them will only incite or enrage them, but if they use the silent-treatment regularly or other controlling, disempowering tactics, a sigh, smile and shake of the head (with maybe a strategic eye roll) can diffuse the situation. If done in a friendly, gentle manner,these gestures sends the message that you aren’t taking them so seriously and it gives them permission to back down and not take themselves so seriously.

What to say to a parent who doesn't live with you?

If you are on the receiving end of a snippy, clipped semi-silent treatment, you can say something like: Dad/Mom, I love you so much and I want our relationship to be enjoyable and supportive.

Why do people use silent treatment?

Some people may use the silent treatment if they are angry or overwhelmed and don’t know how to communicate in a healthy manner.

What is the silent treatment?

Ah the silent treatment, that common game of emotional chicken that makes you search every inch of your brain trying to work out what you did wrong.

Why does the silent treatment hurt so much?

Being on the receiving end of this kind of treatment can be an emotional rollercoaster, you may feel isolated, angry, upset and confused. Essentially your brain is trying to solve a puzzle that it doesn’t have the answer to.

What is the first move in silent treatment?

Taking the silent treatment at face value, the first move is to opt for the softer approach and try to broach the subject of dispute.

Why does being a recipient of the silent treatment feel alien?

Being a recipient of the silent treatment feels alien because it goes against our basic social needs as human beings.

What to do if you think someone's behavior is beyond change?

If you think the person’s behavior is beyond change or the silent treatment repeats itself on a regular basis then you should consider leaving the relationship.

What to do if your girlfriend is not receptive?

If they don’t seem receptive, tell them you understand they may need some alone time. Be sure to try this multiple times and make sure that you’re happy that you’ve done as much as you can to resolve the dispute.

What to do if your partner gives you the silent treatment?

To sum up, if your partner gives you the silent treatment more than you feel is reasonable, look inward at how much support you provide for your partner’s self-worth. Both you and your partner need to feel this deep sense of value to have a fulfilling relationship that lasts over time.

What does it mean when you are treated unfairly?

In relationships, as in the workplace, this means that if you’re treated unfairly, you’ll use the passive-aggressive state of silence in an effort to defend your sense of self in a way that is less risky than speaking out about the unfairness. You can’t get in trouble, so this reasoning goes, for what you don’t say.

Is silence better than conversation?

Silence can sometimes be better than conversation, especially if you and your partner need to take a break from an argument and just cool off. When one partner refuses to speak, however, the silence can seem unbearable, especially if it continues. In the dirty dishes scenario, it would seem like your partner is resorting to silence as a way ...

Why do people use the silent treatment?

People who use the silent treatment to win arguments and gain control need to understand the magnitude of their immature behavior. Confrontation lets them know that you see what they are doing and you understand the tactics they use. After telling them the truth, you can laugh about it.

What to do if you are silent?

If you are experiencing the silent treatment from someone you love, then therapy may be the only answer. This only works if your partner is willing to go to therapy in order to move forward. Unfortunately, so many people like using the silent treatment and don’t want a therapist taking that weapon away.

How can we win the silent treatment?

You have to stop the silent treatment from being used against you in order to retain your self-esteem and dignity. There are a few ways you can learn how to win the silent treatment.

What happens when you are stuck in victim mentality?

So, when they are confronted with something they are doing wrong, they will grow silent and attempt to force their way.

What is selfish treatment?

The selfish. People who haven’t been taught to care effectively for others in a household will use the silent treatment on a regular basis. Selfish people care for themselves over others and when something doesn’t go their way, they ignore others to make a statement.

How to deal with someone who hurts you?

Acknowledge the negative emotions. The first step is admitting (to yourself) that someone hurt your feelings. Sounds easy enough, but often we stop at the obvious feeling of anger and fail to look beneath the anger to see the hurt. For example, let’s say a co-worker makes a joke about your seemingly lax attitude at work. Once you recognize and understand that you feel hurt because of the implication that you don’t take your work seriously, you are now ready to face them.

How to respond to a coworker who is giving you a compliment?

Listen without judgment. (Your coworker’s response may surprise you!) Your co-worker could respond with shock and awe because she believed she was giving you a compliment. During this conversation, she indicated that she views your upbeat attitude as positive and likes the fact that you use humor to defuse tense situations so that people can relax. Granted, this outcome is ideal. Maybe your co-worker was using an indirect way to tell you that sometimes the timing of your jokes are inappropriate or may be distracting, particularly during times of high stress. But now that you have taken the lead to having a conversation, you can get some clarity and the two of you may be able to come to a satisfactory understanding.

How to address a coworker?

Address the source calmly and without emotion. Ask your co-worker if you could speak with her for a few moments to clarify something. Then, clearly state the facts without using a blaming or otherwise negative tone. For ex., “Last week, during lunch with Stacey and Marcus, you stated that whenever you see me, regardless of whether we’re in crisis mode or not, I’m always telling jokes and have this ‘happy-go-lucky’ manner”.

Is it helpful to consult with Human Resources?

It’s clear that you’re in a frustrating and uncomfortable situation. You may find it helpful to consult with Human Resources in your company to explore your options, since you have not been able to receive any assistance or support from your supervisor.

Can confronting people lead to the result you want?

Keep in mind that confronting people may not always lead to the result you want. But by initiating the conversation and using the above tips, you are taking responsibility for your own responses and in many cases, preventing a situation from escalating.

Does a weak minded person work?

Yes, it does work, because then they start going to others trying to find out what it is they did to you and they’ll always wonder. Lol Yes, it does indeed work! And no, weak minded people don’t go on with their lives.

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