Treatment FAQ

how to handle the silent treatment after i paniked about it

by Dr. Ethel Wolf DVM Published 2 years ago Updated 2 years ago

Sometimes, the silent treatment can go on forever. To take control of the situation, you can set a date and a time for an honest talk with the angry person. No one method on how to respond to the silent treatment is guaranteed to work. However, you still need to take control of the situation, or it can go on forever.

Full Answer

How do I deal with the silent treatment?

Jun 05, 2018 · When you’re wondering how to respond to the silent treatment, remind yourself that you are being mistreated yourself. Don’t plead with your partner. State clearly that you’re prepared to talk when they’re ready, and leave it at that. Don’t excuse their behaviour.

Can the silent treatment go on forever?

Mar 15, 2022 · The silent treatment is an immature way to handle problems, but with a little open communication, you can get through it. While it’s natural to feel frustrated or angry, try to stay calm. Focus on taking long, deep breaths to stay in control. Even if the person’s not talking, ask them what’s going on to try to resolve the issue.

What does it feel like when your partner gives you the silent treatment?

Feb 17, 2018 · This cynicism, in turn, is what prompts the silent treatment. You will withhold “your ideas, information, and opinions” as a way of reducing your state of …

What happens when a man gives you the silent treatment?

Apr 23, 2020 · If you want to stop the silent treatment, you need to make it about the person who is angry with you. If someone is using the silent treatment with you, it’s because this person feels that he/she is the victim in some way. Trying to make yourself the victim can challenge this position and anger him/her further.

How do you act after the silent treatment?

How to respond
  1. Name the situation. Acknowledge that someone is using the silent treatment. ...
  2. Use 'I' statements. ...
  3. Acknowledge the other person's feelings. ...
  4. Apologize for words or actions. ...
  5. Cool off and arrange a time to resolve the issue. ...
  6. Avoid unhelpful responses.
Jun 8, 2020

How do you deal with the silent treatment with dignity?

Maintain your dignity and try these six strategies.
  1. Look for the reasons behind the silent treatment. ...
  2. Share the psychology behind silent treatment. ...
  3. Avoid reacting to silent abuse. ...
  4. Respond with calmness and speak kindly. ...
  5. State your boundaries clearly. ...
  6. Take care of yourself. ...
  7. Consider professional therapy.
Apr 26, 2021

How do I stay calm during silent treatment?

How to Respond to the Silent Treatment
  1. #1. Dig Deep Into the Whys of the Situation.
  2. #2. Use the Sandwich Method.
  3. #3. Listen and Not Just Talk.
  4. #4. Do Not Try To Win the Silent Treatment.
  5. #5. Let Go of Your Grudge.
  6. #6. Be Strong.
  7. #7. Remember: The Recipient Doesn't Always Need To Initiate.
  8. #8. Give Space and Time.
Jul 18, 2019

How long does the silent treatment last?

If the perpetrator still refuses to acknowledge the victim's existence for long periods of time, it might be right to leave the relationship. In the end, whether it lasts four hours or four decades, the silent treatment says more about the person doing it than it does about the person receiving it.Mar 26, 2021

What type of person gives the silent treatment?

Researchers have found that the silent treatment is used by both men and women to terminate a partner's behaviors or words rather than to elicit them. 1 In abusive relationships, the silent treatment is used to manipulate the other person and to establish power over them.Jun 1, 2020

Is silent treatment manipulation?

The silent treatment is widely regarded as a form of emotional manipulation and even psychological abuse. It is the act of ceasing to initiate or respond to communication with someone else or refusing to acknowledge them altogether.Nov 27, 2018

Is silent treatment immature?

At best the silent treatment isan immature behavior used by spoiled brats and manipulativeindividuals. At worst, it is a weapon used by abusers to punish their victims. One demographic of the population that particularly loves the silent treatment is the narcissist.Jul 11, 2016

Does silent treatment mean break up?

The silent treatment is a particularly toxic form of behavior that can lead to the breakdown of relationships. When a partner gives you the silent treatment, you might feel a crazy need to make him talk.

Is no contact the silent treatment?

No contact is you setting a boundary to regain control in your life. This is not abusive. Silent treatment from the narcissist is meant for you to “learn a lesson” and realize how wrong you were to the narcissist.Jun 26, 2021

Why is silence the best revenge?

Silence speaks volumes

Believe it, the silence and zero reaction really bothers your ex, and they consider it as the best served revenge. Nothing creates more curiosity than silence. Your ex would expect a vent or an angry rant from you, but don't give in. If you do, you are meeting their expectations.
Sep 9, 2019

Is the silent treatment disrespectful?

"Many of us are prone to sulk or to pout, and that is an early form of giving somebody the silent treatment." Parrott, a psychology professor at Seattle Pacific University, says nothing good comes from the silent treatment because it's "manipulative, disrespectful and not productive."Aug 3, 2014

What does silence do to a woman?

Findings from his in-depth analysis revealed that the silent treatment is 'tremendously' damaging to a relationship. It decreases relationship satisfaction for both partners, diminishes feelings of intimacy, and reduces the capacity to communicate in a way that's healthy and meaningful.

My girlfriend is being distant. What should I do?

Bring it up and ask if there’s an issue. If the person says no, then it means they’re either not willing to talk about it right now or literally th...

What's the best way to deal when it is a housemate and you are tied into a contract of rent but can'...

Well, if it is your name on the lease, you can let them know that it doesn't seem to be working, and start looking for someone to replace them. If...

What do you do if your 10 year old keeps giving you the silent treatment

In this case, you actually have some control because you are the parent. You can add consequences to encourage communication, such as "you must ans...

Is silent treatment a good way to communicate?

While it’s not always malicious, the silent treatment certainly isn’t a healthy way to communicate. If the silent treatment looms large in your life, there are steps you can take to improve your relationship or remove yourself from an abusive situation. Last medically reviewed on April 30, 2019.

What is silent treatment?

The silent treatment can happen in romantic relationships or any type of relationship, including between parents and children, friends, and co-workers. It can be a fleeting reaction to a situation in which one person feels angry, frustrated, or too overwhelmed to deal with a problem.

Why do people use silent treatment?

But some people use the silent treatment as a tool for exerting power over someone or creating emotional distance. If you’re on the receiving end of this kind of treatment, you might feel completely ostracized.

Is silent treatment always meant to inflict wounds?

The silent treatment isn’t always meant to inflict wounds. Sometimes, it’s an isolated incident that gets out of hand. You can let it slide until they come around and move on.

Is silent treatment a form of emotional abuse?

Recognizing other types of emotional abuse. The silent treatment doesn’t always relate to emotional abuse. Some people lack effective communication skills or need to retreat into themselves to work things out. To emotional abusers, though, the silent treatment is a weapon of control.

How to deal with emotional abuse?

Make it about you. Ignore it. Offer solutions. Stand up for yourself. What not to do. Signs of emotional abuse. Get help. Takeaway. If you’ve ever found yourself in a situation where you couldn’t get someone to talk to you, or even acknowledge you, you’ve experienced the silent treatment.

Who is Paul Chernyak?

Paul Chernyak is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Chicago. He graduated from the American School of Professional Psychology in 2011. There are 12 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been viewed 11,700 times.

Why do people use the silent treatment?

Also known as the “cold shoulder,” people sometimes use the silent treatment as a way to disengage from an argument while considering their options , or as a way to retaliate. Being the recipient of the silent treatment can make you feel invisible and manipulated.

When to use "I"?

Use “I” statements when the discussion happens. The silent treatment is a passive-aggressive approach that can prompt passive-aggressiveness in you, too. The other person refuses to share their feelings or engage in conversation, so you decide to ignore them right back.

Is silent treatment a narcissistic trait?

Notice the link between the silent treatment and narcissism. If the silent treatment is a chronic behavioral style of your loved one , this person may have narcissistic traits. Narcissism is frequently used to describe the personality disorder in which a person naturally exploits and manipulates those around them for their own benefit.

What is silent treatment?

The silent treatment is one of many tactics employed by emotional abuses. It makes one partner feel intimidated and powerless to the other. If you have tried to improve your communication with your loved one and they refuse to acknowledge their part in the silent treatment, you may have to go your separate ways.

How to stop a relationship that is unhealthy?

Finally, don’t get caught up in your feelings. Take care of yourself by doing things you enjoy, focusing on relaxation, or ending the relationship if it’s unhealthy. Steps.

Is silent treatment a form of abuse?

Especially if the person uses the silent treatment often, recognize that this is a form of emotional abuse. Emotional abuse may go less detected than physical abuse, but it is still damaging and can affect your self-esteem, sense of self, and self-worth.

What is silent treatment?

The silent treatment is a form of attention, power, and control over another person and is a passive-aggressive approach in communication. Someone might use the silent treatment as a way to avoid conflict or deflect responsibility. At times, people use the silent treatment as a way to punish another person.

Why do people use silent treatment?

Someone might use the silent treatment as a way to avoid conflict or deflect responsibility. At times, people use the silent treatment as a way to punish another person. Ultimately, the person lacks the ability to communicate their feelings appropriately.

How to show care for yourself?

Make some time for activities you enjoy and are important to you. This is a great way to show care toward yourself and not let the other person’s actions get the best of you. For example, go for a bike ride, listen to music, paint, or play with your dog. Do the things that make you feel great.

Who is Klare Heston?

With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).

Who is Sarah Schewitz?

This article was co-authored by Sarah Schewitz, PsyD. Sarah Schewitz, Psy.D. is a licensed clinic al psychologist by the California Board of Psychology with over 10 years of experience. She received her Psy.D. from the Florida Institute of Technology in 2011.

What is social identity theory?

Their study is based on social identity theory, which proposes that “individuals are generally motivated to maintain or enhance perceptions of their self-worth.". In the workplace, social identity theory implies that you want to feel cared about by your employer.

What does it mean when you are treated unfairly?

In relationships, as in the workplace, this means that if you’re treated unfairly, you’ll use the passive-aggressive state of silence in an effort to defend your sense of self in a way that is less risky than speaking out about the unfairness. You can’t get in trouble, so this reasoning goes, for what you don’t say.

What is silent treatment?

Psychologists consider the narcissistic silent treatment a form of abuse. It’s a popular form of mental torture used by narcissistic individuals, whereby they cut their victims off by not talking to them for extended periods of time.

Is silent treatment a form of abuse?

In fact, this need can be so strong, it can override the needs of food and safety. Psychologists consider the narcissistic silent treatment a form of abuse. It’s a popular form of mental torture used by narcissistic individuals, whereby they cut their victims off by not talking to them for extended periods of time.

Why do narcissists use silent treatment?

Narcissists use the silent treatment as a tool for exerting power over someone or creating emotional distance.

Do narcissists care about you?

But just try to drill this into your head: Narcissists really don’t care. This is especially true when they use silent treatment to punish you. They don’t have the same feelings of longing and remorse as you do after spending time apart. And they certainly don’t feel guilty about it.

Do you need to justify yourself to a narcissist?

You don’t need to justify yourself to the narcissist. But, that’s the game they are going to play with you. It’s all about making you doubt yourself and your perceptions.

What do narcissists do?

What narcissists typically engage in is an insidious psychological technique called “gaslighting.”. On a very simple level, it goes like this: The narcissist does something selfish, and you confront them about it. The narcissist then twists this event around to make it sound like you were the selfish one.

Do narcissists look good?

Narcissists are experts at reframing reality in a way that makes them look good and you look bad. While it can be infuriating and confusing, don’t fall for it. Stick to your guns. The silent treatment is never a healthy or functional way of dealing with problems in your relationship.

How to win silent treatment?

1. Shrugging it off. One way to understand how to win the silent treatment is to brush it off or ignore it. If you aren’t necessarily in a close relationship with the person who is giving you the silent treatment, you may be able to just move on and act like nothing happened.

Why do people use the silent treatment?

People who use the silent treatment to win arguments and gain control need to understand the magnitude of their immature behavior. Confrontation lets them know that you see what they are doing and you understand the tactics they use. After telling them the truth, you can laugh about it.

Can you go to therapy for silent treatment?

If you are experiencing the silent treatment from someone you love, then therapy may be the only answer. This only works if your partner is willing to go to therapy in order to move forward. Unfortunately, so many people like using the silent treatment and don’t want a therapist taking that weapon away.

What is a narcissist?

The narcissist. The narcissist is a troubled and sad individual. Among their weapons of choice, like their other manipulation techniques, they also utilize the silent treatment. The narcissist, since they are void of all original inner substance, will use the silent treatment to further establish who they are.

Who is Sherrie Hurd?

Sherrie Hurd is a professional writer and artist with over 20 years of experience. As a survivor of childhood trauma and multiple types of abuse, she is an advocate for mental health awareness. Sherrie manages multiple mental illnesses, including anxiety disorder, bipolar disorder, and PTSD. With this background and personal experience, she strives to help others overcome trauma and abuse, cope with mental illness, and heal over time.

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