Treatment FAQ

how to get someone to stop giving you the silent treatment

by Nicolette Bergstrom Published 2 years ago Updated 2 years ago
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Then confront the person giving you the silent treatment by being honest, open, and calm when you do. If the confrontation doesn't go well, try working on your communication skills, but also be willing to walk away from the relationship. Part 1 Figuring Out the Cause 1 Consider what else is happening in their life.

Tell the person how the silent treatment hurts and leaves you feeling frustrated and alone. That's not what you want or need in a relationship. Explain that you can't resolve issues this way, then be specific about those issues. If this sort of behavior is a relationship deal-breaker for you, state it plainly.Apr 30, 2019

Full Answer

Why are you receiving the silent treatment?

Jun 05, 2018 · Suggest a day and time to have an honest and calm discussion so that you can resolve the situation together. I’d also recommend that you talk it over with a counsellor or coach beforehand (it’s easy to connect with professional help these days).

How to respond to the silent treatment?

The best way to deal with a person giving you the silent treatment is to ignore it. The silent treatment is emotional abuse. What the person giving the silent treatment is trying to do is to avoid taking responsibility for their own actions by inflicting pain on you by placing the blame and shame onto you so that you will feel guilty.

What couples should know about the silent treatment?

You can avoid the silent treatment by compassionately acknowledging what you’re feeling. Avoid accusations or hostile language and try not to overthink it. I know for me, a simple “I know I’ve been quiet lately” or “Hey, I noticed you’re not responding to me” opens the door to healthier communication.

How to handle silent treatment abuse with dignity?

Sep 06, 2018 · 1. Shrugging it off. One way to understand how to win the silent treatment is to brush it off or ignore it. If you aren’t necessarily in a close relationship with the person who is giving you the silent treatment, you may be able to just move on and act like nothing happened.

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How do you respond to silent treatment?

How to respond
  1. Name the situation. Acknowledge that someone is using the silent treatment. ...
  2. Use 'I' statements. ...
  3. Acknowledge the other person's feelings. ...
  4. Apologize for words or actions. ...
  5. Cool off and arrange a time to resolve the issue. ...
  6. Avoid unhelpful responses.
Jun 8, 2020

Why does someone give you the silent treatment?

The silent treatment (also known as withholding) is used to punish and regain control of a person. It may feel good to ignore your partner when you feel slighted but, it keeps you from finding real solutions to the problems that are bugging you the most.

Is the silent treatment manipulative?

The silent treatment is widely regarded as a form of emotional manipulation and even psychological abuse. It is the act of ceasing to initiate or respond to communication with someone else or refusing to acknowledge them altogether.Nov 27, 2018

What type of person gives the silent treatment?

The silent treatment can happen in romantic relationships or any type of relationship, including between parents and children, friends, and co-workers. It can be a fleeting reaction to a situation in which one person feels angry, frustrated, or too overwhelmed to deal with a problem.Apr 30, 2019

Does silent treatment mean break up?

The silent treatment is a particularly toxic form of behavior that can lead to the breakdown of relationships. When a partner gives you the silent treatment, you might feel a crazy need to make him talk.

Is the silent treatment disrespectful?

"Many of us are prone to sulk or to pout, and that is an early form of giving somebody the silent treatment." Parrott, a psychology professor at Seattle Pacific University, says nothing good comes from the silent treatment because it's "manipulative, disrespectful and not productive."Aug 3, 2014

What does silence do to a man?

Silence can be a very powerful way to “be” with another person, especially when they are troubled. It can communicate acceptance of the other person as they are as of a given moment, and particularly when they have strong feelings like sorrow, fear or anger.

Is the silent treatment toxic?

When silence, or, rather, the refusal to engage in a conversation, is used as a control tactic to exert power in a relationship, then it becomes "the silent treatment," which is toxic, unhealthy, and abusive.Jun 1, 2020

Step 1: Examine Your Side of the Street

Of course, the breakdown is his fault too. He’s definitely responsible for his part.

Step 2: Issue an Apology

You might wonder about how you can get your guy to apologize when there’s a cold war.

Step 3: Become a Safe Haven

Author John Harrigan wrote, “People need loving the most when they deserve it the least.”

How to avoid silent treatment?

1. Improve your communication skills. Better communication skills can help avoid a repeat of the silent treatment if it turns out that a miscommunication caused it in the first place. There are a few simple things you can do to improve your communication skills.

Can you walk away from silent treatment?

In both cases, it's probably best to walk away from the relationship. If the person giving you the silent treatment is someone you work with, you probably can't just walk away. Instead, only interact with that person when it's absolutely necessary.

What to do if you notice a personality change?

If you notice a really severe personality change and other mutual friends do, too, talk to the person immediately. They could be in a position where they really need help. Keep in mind that they might not even be aware they're giving you the silent treatment.

Why do people use silent treatment?

Most people who use the silent treatment on a regular basis do it to get a reaction. If you sound overly hurt or sad, or even desperate to get their friendship back, it gives them incentive to keep using the silent treatment. Instead, do your best to sound calm and in control.

What does silent treatment mean?

The silent treatment indicates that either they don't want to talk to you or they're trying to control you. In both cases, it's probably best to walk away from the relationship. If the person giving you the silent treatment is someone you work with, you probably can't just walk away.

How to confront someone who is silent?

If someone is giving you the silent treatment, you can confront them by having a calm and honest conversation. Ask them to speak in a private place, like a park bench or quiet coffee shop, so you won't get distracted. As you talk, tell them you value your relationship and express how their silence makes you feel.

What to do if you are in a manipulative relationship?

If you are in a manipulative, controlling, or abusive relationship, you might want to see a therapist to discuss the relationship and your place in it. It can also help to share your concerns about your relationship with a trusted friend or family member, who can support you during a difficult time.

Is the silent treatment good?

No, the silent treatment is seldom a good idea. When you’re using the silent treatment, you’re attempting to manipulate and control your partner or spouse. I can understand your resorting to not responding to your partner or spouse if they continue to batter your ears over something you really don’t want to talk about.

Is silent treatment a sign of a toxic relationship?

At worst, it can be a sign of a toxic relationship. At best, it’s an unhealthy attempt to make upset and displeasure clear and to provoke guilt and atonement. The above steps will help you to handle the silent treatment with dignity.

Is it safe to ignore your spouse?

Keep in mind…. there are no benefits of the silent treatment, though your spouse or partner may feel safer having built a wall of silence around them. you have the right to feel safe in your relationship – physically and emotionally – when your spouse ignores you, it’s hard to feel safe.

Is silence therapy good for a spouse?

there are no benefits of the silent treatment, though your spouse or partner may feel safer having built a wall of silence around them. you have the right to feel safe in your relationship – physically and emotionally – when your spouse ignores you, it’s hard to feel safe. you are not your partner’s therapist.

Can you change your partner's therapy?

you are not your partner’s therapist. you cannot change your partner, and neither should you change yourself to fit in with their demands beyond reasonable compromises. ‘giving back’ the silent treatment will result in a competition detrimental to the survival of your relationship.

Can you change your partner?

you are not your partner’s therapist. you cannot change your partner, and neither should you change yourself to fit in with their demands beyond reasonable compromises.

What is silent treatment?

Left unchecked, the silent treatment becomes a pattern of behavior and emotional abuse that is used to manipulate over time. Fear not! There are a few things you can do to deal with the silent treatment in a relationship. Let’s break it down.

Is it worth getting over the silent treatment?

Getting over the silent treatment isn’t particularly easy or pleasant. And yet, it’s work worth doing. Not only will it help you become a better communicator, it also helps you build a relationship based on trust and healthy communication.

Do you have to say "what you did hurt me"?

Most of the time, you actually have to say the words “Hey, what you did hurt me,” even when you would rather keep your mouth shut and protect yourself from all of the feels. Even when your partner means well, it pays off to speak up when they say or do something to upset you.

Why is it important to acknowledge your partner's feelings?

Acknowledging your partner’s feelings not only validates their experience, it creates space for a larger conversation. Through larger conversations, you can lay the foundation for trust and signal that you’re interested in understanding their point of view while being honest about how the silent treatment makes you feel.

Can you go to therapy for silent treatment?

If you are experiencing the silent treatment from someone you love, then therapy may be the only answer. This only works if your partner is willing to go to therapy in order to move forward. Unfortunately, so many people like using the silent treatment and don’t want a therapist taking that weapon away.

Why do people use the silent treatment?

People who use the silent treatment to win arguments and gain control need to understand the magnitude of their immature behavior. Confrontation lets them know that you see what they are doing and you understand the tactics they use. After telling them the truth, you can laugh about it.

How to win silent treatment?

1. Shrugging it off. One way to understand how to win the silent treatment is to brush it off or ignore it. If you aren’t necessarily in a close relationship with the person who is giving you the silent treatment, you may be able to just move on and act like nothing happened.

What does it mean when something isn't going their way?

When something isn’t going their way, they know that their silent treatment may be the only real key to turning the tables and getting exactly what they want, after all. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. This all depends on the strength and maturity of their intended target. 2. The narcissist.

What is selfish treatment?

The selfish. People who haven’t been taught to care effectively for others in a household will use the silent treatment on a regular basis. Selfish people care for themselves over others and when something doesn’t go their way, they ignore others to make a statement.

What happens when you are stuck in victim mentality?

So, when they are confronted with something they are doing wrong, they will grow silent and attempt to force their way.

What is a narcissist?

The narcissist. The narcissist is a troubled and sad individual. Among their weapons of choice, like their other manipulation techniques, they also utilize the silent treatment. The narcissist, since they are void of all original inner substance, will use the silent treatment to further establish who they are.

I needed to grow up

Communication seems to be a dying art. With technology now, there are so many ways to communicate without saying anything. And yet, not saying anything can be the biggest mistake you make in your marriage.

The silent treatment creates distance instead of unity

Marriage involves a lot of decisions, big and small. The small ones may not seem like a big deal but each choice you make as a married couple, helps to prepare you for any of the bigger decisions that come your way.

It hurts more people than just your spouse

There were times my parents wouldn’t speak to each other for a week or two at a time. Picture a young child or a teenager trying to get through life and your role models aren’t speaking to one another.

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