Treatment FAQ

how to deal with someone giving you the silent treatment

by Mr. Kolby Dicki DVM Published 3 years ago Updated 2 years ago
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How to Respond When Someone Gives You the Silent Treatment

  1. Take a gentle approach: Make it about them. If this isn’t something the other person regularly does to you, a gentle approach might be a good way to get ...
  2. Or, make it about you. Tell the person how the silent treatment hurts and leaves you feeling frustrated and alone. ...
  3. Ignore it until it blows over. ...
  4. Offer solutions. ...
  5. Stand up for yourself. ...

How to respond
  1. Name the situation. Acknowledge that someone is using the silent treatment. ...
  2. Use 'I' statements. ...
  3. Acknowledge the other person's feelings. ...
  4. Apologize for words or actions. ...
  5. Cool off and arrange a time to resolve the issue. ...
  6. Avoid unhelpful responses.
Jun 8, 2020

Full Answer

How to respond when someone gives you the silent treatment?

Jun 05, 2018 · When you’re wondering how to respond to the silent treatment, remind yourself that you are being mistreated yourself. Don’t plead with your partner. State clearly that you’re prepared to talk when they’re ready, and leave it at that. Don’t excuse their behaviour.

How long to give someone the silent treatment?

The conversation following a silent treatment should be handled with care because it’s likely the parties involved are feeling vulnerable at this point. Here are some tips to help you get through this: 1. Listen. Not to reply, but to understand Being a …

When someone gives you the silent treatment?

3. Get support – It’s important to get an outside perspective when dealing with the silent treatment. Talk to someone who isn’t emotionally invested in your situation and see what they have to say about it. They may come up with some good advice or validate your feelings which will make you feel less crazy.

Why is my Friend giving me the silent treatment?

Jun 08, 2020 · Acknowledge that someone is using the silent treatment. For example, a person can say, “I notice that you are not responding to me.” This lays the foundation for two people to engage with each...

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What type of person gives the silent treatment?

Research. Researchers have found that the silent treatment is used by both men and women to terminate a partner's behaviors or words rather than to elicit them. 1 In abusive relationships, the silent treatment is used to manipulate the other person and to establish power over them.Jun 1, 2020

How do you outsmart the silent treatment?

You've changed your behavior to avoid getting the silent treatment.Take a gentle approach: Make it about them. ... Or, make it about you. ... Ignore it until it blows over. ... Offer solutions. ... Stand up for yourself.Apr 30, 2019

Should you confront someone giving you the silent treatment?

It's hard to confront someone who is giving you the silent treatment because they might be sulking for days. Not talking to you or addressing the issues is their way of keeping you at tenterhooks. When someone gives you the silent treatment, you keep grappling with the questions about what went wrong.Dec 13, 2021

What does silence do to a man?

Findings from his in-depth analysis revealed that the silent treatment is 'tremendously' damaging to a relationship. It decreases relationship satisfaction for both partners, diminishes feelings of intimacy, and reduces the capacity to communicate in a way that's healthy and meaningful.

Why silence is powerful with a man?

Silence can be a very powerful way to “be” with another person, especially when they are troubled. It can communicate acceptance of the other person as they are as of a given moment, and particularly when they have strong feelings like sorrow, fear or anger.

Is giving the silent treatment immature?

At best the silent treatment isan immature behavior used by spoiled brats and manipulativeindividuals. At worst, it is a weapon used by abusers to punish their victims.Jul 11, 2016

Is silent treatment toxic?

Why the Silent Treatment Is So Harmful When you're on the receiving end of the silent treatment, you may feel powerless, disrespected, invisible, frustrated, or angry — or you may cycle through all of these emotions. “Many people feel powerless because we as humans are inherently social creatures.Mar 10, 2021

What does it mean when your partner stops talking to you?

If your partner seems to have stopped talking to you out of the blue or after a fight, clearly the two of you are having a conflict – even if you weren’t aware that you’d done something ‘wrong’.

Is the silent treatment good?

No, the silent treatment is seldom a good idea. When you’re using the silent treatment, you’re attempting to manipulate and control your partner or spouse. I can understand your resorting to not responding to your partner or spouse if they continue to batter your ears over something you really don’t want to talk about.

Can you change your partner?

you are not your partner’s therapist. you cannot change your partner, and neither should you change yourself to fit in with their demands beyond reasonable compromises.

How to avoid silent treatment?

1. Improve your communication skills. Better communication skills can help avoid a repeat of the silent treatment if it turns out that a miscommunication caused it in the first place. There are a few simple things you can do to improve your communication skills.

Why do people use silent treatment?

Most people who use the silent treatment on a regular basis do it to get a reaction. If you sound overly hurt or sad, or even desperate to get their friendship back, it gives them incentive to keep using the silent treatment. Instead, do your best to sound calm and in control.

What does silent treatment mean?

The silent treatment indicates that either they don't want to talk to you or they're trying to control you. In both cases, it's probably best to walk away from the relationship. If the person giving you the silent treatment is someone you work with, you probably can't just walk away.

What does it mean when someone refuses to talk to you?

If they refuse to meet or talk with you, that's a pretty good indication that they're using the silent treatment to manipulate or control you. It's okay at that point to tell them you understand they don't want to talk, and that you'll be walking away from the relationship.

How to confront someone who is silent?

If someone is giving you the silent treatment, you can confront them by having a calm and honest conversation. Ask them to speak in a private place, like a park bench or quiet coffee shop, so you won't get distracted. As you talk, tell them you value your relationship and express how their silence makes you feel.

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What does it mean to acknowledge someone is using the silent treatment?

Acknowledge that someone is using the silent treatment. For example, a person can say, “I notice that you are not responding to me.” This lays the foundation for two people to engage with each other more effectively.

Why do people use the silent treatment?

People use the silent treatment for a number of reasons. These include: 1 Avoidance: In some cases, people stay silent in a conversation because they do not know what to say or want to avoid conflict. 2 Communication: A person may use the silent treatment if they do not know how to express their feelings but want their partner to know that they are upset. 3 Punishment: If a person uses silence to punish someone or to exert control or power over them, this is a form of emotional abuse.

Why do people use silence?

they talk to other people but not to their partner. they seek alliances from others. they use silence to blame their partner and make them feel guilty. they use silence to manipulate or “improve” their partner, or to pressure them to change their behavior.

What is silent treatment?

Summary. The silent treatment is a refusal to communicate verbally with another person. People who use the silent treatment may even refuse to acknowledge the presence of the other person. People use the silent treatment in many types of relationship, including romantic relationships. It can sometimes be a form of emotional abuse.

How to deal with a person who is abusive?

Avoid becoming defensive or going into problem-solving mode. Try to stay present and listen empathically. If the person responds in a threatening or abusive way, it is important to remove oneself from the situation until they calm down. Talk to a doctor, therapist, or trusted friend for help.

What are the types of emotional abuse?

demanding access to their phone, email account, and other digital information. deciding what they wear, eat, or drink.

How to help someone with domestic violence?

talk privately with a trusted professional, such as a counselor or domestic violence advocate, who can discuss the person’s options in a safe space. seek advice and support from a domestic abuse organization, such as the National Domestic Violence Hotline or Love is Respect.

What to do if you are silent?

If you are experiencing the silent treatment from someone you love, then therapy may be the only answer. This only works if your partner is willing to go to therapy in order to move forward. Unfortunately, so many people like using the silent treatment and don’t want a therapist taking that weapon away.

Why do people use the silent treatment?

People who use the silent treatment to win arguments and gain control need to understand the magnitude of their immature behavior. Confrontation lets them know that you see what they are doing and you understand the tactics they use. After telling them the truth, you can laugh about it.

What is a narcissist?

The narcissist. The narcissist is a troubled and sad individual. Among their weapons of choice, like their other manipulation techniques, they also utilize the silent treatment. The narcissist, since they are void of all original inner substance, will use the silent treatment to further establish who they are.

How to win silent treatment?

1. Shrugging it off. One way to understand how to win the silent treatment is to brush it off or ignore it. If you aren’t necessarily in a close relationship with the person who is giving you the silent treatment, you may be able to just move on and act like nothing happened.

What does it mean when someone ignores others?

People who haven’t been taught to care effectively for others in a household will use the silent treatment on a regular basis. Selfish people care for themselves over others and when something doesn’t go their way, they ignore others to make a statement.

Who is Sherrie Hurd?

Sherrie Hurd is a professional writer and artist with over 20 years of experience. As a survivor of childhood trauma and multiple types of abuse, she is an advocate for mental health awareness. Sherrie manages multiple mental illnesses, including anxiety disorder, bipolar disorder, and PTSD. With this background and personal experience, she strives to help others overcome trauma and abuse, cope with mental illness, and heal over time.

How to deal with a jerk?

How to deal with jerks: Give 'em the silent treatment. Giving someone the silent treatment may not always be such a bad thing . It may actually be a good way to deal with someone who is acting like a jerk, a new study finds. The research reveals there are benefits to cutting off conversation with a person who is being obnoxious: It's not as draining ...

Is silence golden?

But this new research has identified at least some situations when silence might be golden: When people are strongly motivated to avoid social interaction with an undesirable person, giving the silent treatment may be as easy -- if not easier -- than a conversation.

What is silent treatment?

The silent treatment is an abusive method of control, punishment, avoidance, or disempowerment (some times these four typesoverlap, sometimes not) that is a favorite tactic of narcissists, and especially thosewho have a hard time with impulse control, that is, those with more infantile tendencies. The silent treatment can be used as anabusive tactic ...

Does Psych Central review?

Psych Central does not review the content that appears in our blog network (blogs.psychcentral.com) prior to publication. All opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the author alone, and do not reflect the views of the editorial staff or management of Psych Central. Published on PsychCentral.com.

Can I go to therapy with my spouse?

Getting your spouseto go to therapy with you may not always be possible, but if the relationships is important to them and you feel that their behavior is irreparably damaging it, you might be in a position to strongly encourage even demand it of them. If not, go to therapy on your own so you can learn how to handle their behavior in a way ...

Examples of What NOT to do when someone at work starts giving you the Silent Treatment

Don't keep asking them why they are not speaking to you. Whether or not you get a reasonable response, ask once, and once only, You know they heard you the first time so don't beg.

Playing the Silent Treatment Game with your Passive Aggressive co-worker

If you've been going out of your way to constantly try and appease him or her then it’s time to stop giving this person the satisfaction of seeing the pain and frustration silent treatment can bring about in you.

Be aware

You may well need to take professional/legal advice to deal with intolerable silent treatment/bullying in the workplace.

Passive Aggression at Work!

Difficult People: Foolproof Methods - Dealing with Difficult People, Mean People, and Workplace Bullying (Difficult People at Work, Passive Aggressive, ... Dealing with Difficult People, Negativity)

Make Difficult People Disappear: How to Deal with Stressful Behavior and Eliminate Conflict

In Monica Wofford’s book she details how to alter your mindset and find new ways of dealing with the problem of difficult personalities in the workplace. Her advices can help build confidence and enhance working relationships for team leaders and team members alike.

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