Treatment FAQ

how to deal with a live in adult child giving you the silent treatment?

by Rose Stiedemann Published 2 years ago Updated 2 years ago
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How to Respond When Someone Gives You the Silent Treatment.

  • 1. Take a gentle approach: Make it about them. If this isn’t something the other person regularly does to you, a gentle approach might be a good way ...
  • 2. Or, make it about you. Tell the person how the silent treatment hurts and leaves you feeling frustrated and alone. That’s not what you want or need ...
  • 3. Ignore it until it blows over. The silent treatment isn’t always meant to inflict wounds. Sometimes, it’s an isolated incident that gets out of ...
  • 4. Offer solutions. Suggest a face-to-face meeting to hammer out some rules for better communication in the future. Make a plan for how you’ll talk to ...

Full Answer

Why do some parents give the silent treatment to their children?

The emotionally immature/self-absorbed parent gives the silent treatment for a few reasons. It might be because they want to avoid conflict as they typically feel overwhelmed by it and don’t know how to resolve it.

Do you give the silent treatment in a relationship?

You may even have given it yourself at some point. The silent treatment can happen in romantic relationships or any type of relationship, including between parents and children, friends, and co-workers. It can be a fleeting reaction to a situation in which one person feels angry, frustrated, or too overwhelmed to deal with a problem.

When does the silent treatment become a form of abuse?

1.When theabuser (and make no mistake–the silent treatment is a form of abuse) gives you the cold-shoulder and refuses to speak to you for a period of time because you refuse to acquiesce to his or her demands. T his is manipulating you with silence.

How to respond to the Silent Treatment with dignity?

How to respond to the silent treatment with dignity. 1 Step 1: Present your partner or spouse with the research. They need to know there’s good evidence that ignoring you is endangering the future of your ... 2 Step 2: Write them a letter. 3 Step 3: If it’s an abusive relationship – leave.

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What do you do when your child gives you the silent treatment?

How silent is the silent treatment?Don't lecture her or tell her how hurt you feel.Try to have positive interactions with her.Engage her in activities you've enjoyed doing together.Sit down to meals with her.Don't pump her for information.More items...

Why is my child giving me the silent treatment?

It's how they push your buttons and get you to leave them alone. Know that if your child gives you the silent treatment, that's probably the best problem-solving skill he has at that moment. Simply put, he's trying to deal with whatever issue is at hand by using this passive-aggressive behavior.

What causes adult child estrangement?

In these and other studies, common reasons given by the estranged adult children were emotional, physical, or sexual abuse in childhood by the parent, “toxic” behaviors such as disrespect or hurtfulness, feeling unsupported, and clashes in values.

How do you deal with rejection from a child?

The best advice I can offer is as follows:Ask your child what he or she needs from you in order to repair the relationship. ... Dont act on your feelings of defensiveness. ... Expect Respect. ... Dont idealize your children or your relationship with them. ... Grieve. ... Live one day at a time. ... Dont beg. ... Be empowered.

How do you respond to silent treatment?

How to respondName the situation. Acknowledge that someone is using the silent treatment. ... Use 'I' statements. ... Acknowledge the other person's feelings. ... Apologize for words or actions. ... Cool off and arrange a time to resolve the issue. ... Avoid unhelpful responses.

What is the psychology behind the silent treatment?

The silent treatment is a particularly insidious form of abuse because it might force the victim to reconcile with the perpetrator in an effort to end the behavior, even if the victim doesn't know why they're apologizing. “It's especially controlling because it deprives both sides from weighing in,” Williams said.

How long does parent/child estrangement usually last?

Nine years, average. Five-plus years for mothers, seven-plus for fathers. Less than five years, in most cases.

What do you do when your child ignores you?

7 Things You Should Do When Your Child Ignores YouEliminate Distractions. Jamie Grill Photography / Getty Images. ... Request Repetition. Ensure that your child understands what you said by asking them to repeat back your instructions. ... Give One Warning. ... Follow Through. ... Create a Plan. ... Avoid Traps.

What do you do when an adult child hates you?

ApologizeOwn your feelings and take responsibility for them.Connect the feeling to the action (explain in your apology why you felt the way you did)Apologize for the action.Recognize your child's feelings.Share how you plan to avoid this situation in the future.Ask for forgiveness.Focus on amends and solutions.

Why a child rejects a parent?

For instance, children may feel anxious around or resent a parent who has begun to relentlessly bad-mouth the other parent. Instead of aligning with the alienating parent and rejecting the targeted parent, the children want to avoid the parent who makes them feel uncomfortable—what professionals call “blowback.”

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