how to counter silent treatment

• Never beg or plead. It might stop the silent treatment for the time being but it will most definitely come up again.
• Do not retaliate. It just escalates things.
• Do not apologize when it is not your mistake. There is no use in putting an end to it like this. ...
• Do not undermine yourself. You are not to blame for how others treat you.
• Do not excuse the behavior. Please know that it is unacceptable and you always deserve an explanation.
• Do not broadcast. Avoid talking to random people about the silent treatment. For instance, there are situations where sharing your personal problems further angers your partner.
• Do not build a mountain out of a molehill. If you try to dig a little deeper, you might realize it is not that big of a problem. ...

What's the best tactic against Silent Treatment?

How to Respond to the Silent Treatment

• Reach Out and Share How You Feel. Though you've likely already tried this in some fashion, sometimes all it takes to get the repair process started is one more earnest, ...
• Give Your Partner a Chance to Share Their Side of the Story. ...
• Suggest Some Next Steps to Take. ...
• Establish Boundaries. ...
• Build a Support Network. ...

How long should I tolerate the silent treatment?

How long should the silent treatment last? If your partner or spouse has been giving you the silent treatment for a month, a week or even a day, I’d like you to take a good look at your relationship because chances are you’re in a toxic relationship. Perhaps that comes as a shock, or you’ve known all along that you’re in a bad relationship.

How do you respond to the silent treatment?

When Labour MP Stephen McCabe was told he had a heart murmur that needed attention ‘very urgently’, his initial response was to dismiss the advice ... Once detected, treatment may involve blood pressure drugs to open the arteries, blood thinners ...

How to respond when someone gives you the silent treatment?

• Never beg or plead. It might stop the silent treatment for the time being but it will most definitely come up again.
• Do not retaliate. It just escalates things.
• Do not apologize when it is not your mistake. ...
• Do not undermine yourself. ...
• Do not excuse the behavior. ...
• Do not broadcast. ...
• Do not build a mountain out of a molehill. ...

How do I break the silent treatment?

Tell the person how the silent treatment hurts and leaves you feeling frustrated and alone. That's not what you want or need in a relationship. Explain that you can't resolve issues this way, then be specific about those issues. If this sort of behavior is a relationship deal-breaker for you, state it plainly.

Is silent treatment manipulation?

The silent treatment is widely regarded as a form of emotional manipulation and even psychological abuse. It is the act of ceasing to initiate or respond to communication with someone else or refusing to acknowledge them altogether.

How long should the silent treatment last?

If the perpetrator still refuses to acknowledge the victim's existence for long periods of time, it might be right to leave the relationship. In the end, whether it lasts four hours or four decades, the silent treatment says more about the person doing it than it does about the person receiving it.

What does the silent treatment do to someone?

When children experience the silent treatment, it can lead to feelings of emotional abandonment. They are likely to engage in behaviors such as clinging or reassurance-seeking, anything they can do to try and get the parent to stop engaging in that behavior.

Is silent treatment narcissistic?

The silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse typically employed by people with narcissistic tendencies.

How do you respond to emotional withholding?

Use "I" statements.For example, you may say, "I feel you are emotionally withholding from me and it bothers me" or "I feel we are not communicating our feelings as much as we could be and I would like us to try to figure out why that is."Try to be accepting and non-judgmental when you speak with your partner as well.

What does the silent treatment do to a woman?

In general, the silent treatment is a manipulation tactic that can leave important issues in a relationship unresolved. It also can leave the partner on the receiving end feeling worthless, unloved, hurt, confused, frustrated, angry, and unimportant.

Why the silent treatment is toxic?

When you're on the receiving end of the silent treatment, you may feel powerless, disrespected, invisible, frustrated, or angry — or you may cycle through all of these emotions. “Many people feel powerless because we as humans are inherently social creatures.

Why do men go silent?

Many guys hate failing and feeling inadequate. They often don't have the speed of words to compete with their partner in a conflict. Men's emotional processing capacity is often much slower than their partner. Whilst being silent is a sign of a man's need to process it is also a way to avoid the feelings of defeat.

Is silent treatment a red flag?

The Silent Treatment is Your S.O.'s Main Conflict Technique If you're in a relationship, conflicts and arguments come with the territory. Managing these conflicts and working through them together are a necessary part of developing a healthy relationship, which makes the silent treatment a huge red flag.

Is ignoring someone a form of emotional abuse?

The silent treatment is the refusal to engage in verbal communication with someone, often as a response to conflict in a relationship. Also referred to as giving the cold shoulder or stonewalling, its use is a passive-aggressive form of control and can, in many circumstances, be considered a form of emotional abuse.

Why is silence so powerful?

Being silent allows us to channel our energies. It gives us the clarity we need to calmly face challenges and uncertainty. The hour of silence I practice each morning, and encourage you to practice as well, can be a time for collecting our thoughts, training our minds, and deciding how we want to enter into the day.

Why do people use silent treatment?

Someone might use the silent treatment as a way to avoid conflict or deflect responsibility. At times, people use the silent treatment as a way to punish another person. Ultimately, the person lacks the ability to communicate their feelings appropriately.

What to do when you know you've done something hurtful?

If you know you’re in the wrong, say something. This gives you a chance to connect with their feelings and let them know that you’re aware of the pain you’ve caused.

How to show care for yourself?

Make some time for activities you enjoy and are important to you. This is a great way to show care toward yourself and not let the other person’s actions get the best of you. For example, go for a bike ride, listen to music, paint, or play with your dog. Do the things that make you feel great.

How to stop a relationship that is unhealthy?

Finally, don’t get caught up in your feelings. Take care of yourself by doing things you enjoy, focusing on relaxation, or ending the relationship if it’s unhealthy. Steps.

How to deal with someone who has promised to change?

You cannot change someone. If the person has promised to change yet no progress has been made, take some steps to deal with emotional abuse on your own terms. Involve the support of other people. You may need to leave the relationship. Consider if this is a pattern or a one-time occurrence.

Is silent treatment a form of abuse?

Especially if the person uses the silent treatment often, recognize that this is a form of emotional abuse. Emotional abuse may go less detected than physical abuse, but it is still damaging and can affect your self-esteem, sense of self, and self-worth.

Is silent therapy good for a family?

Especially if the person is a family member, partner, or spouse, you may benefit in getting counseling together. Silent treatment is a form of stonewalling, and it does not lead to feelings of intimacy, trust, or happiness in a relationship.

How to end silent treatment?

The first step to ending the silent treatment is to recognize it for what it is —a tactic that, at best, works only short-term. True, not talking may quench your thirst for retaliation or compel your spouse to give in to your wishes.

What is silence in marriage?

Some spouses use silence as a form of revenge. For example, suppose a husband makes weekend plans without consulting his wife. When she finds out, she is angry and calls him inconsiderate. He responds by calling her oversensitive. The wife storms off and stews in silence.

Why is it important to have a temporary time out?

Of course, a temporary time-out can give a couple the opportunity to let emotions cool when an argument is getting out of hand. That type of silence can be beneficial. The Bible says that there is “a time to keep quiet.”.

Why does the silent treatment hurt so much?

Being on the receiving end of this kind of treatment can be an emotional rollercoaster, you may feel isolated, angry, upset and confused. Essentially your brain is trying to solve a puzzle that it doesn’t have the answer to.

5 effective ways to respond to the silent treatment

Taking the silent treatment at face value, the first move is to opt for the softer approach and try to broach the subject of dispute.

Why the silent treatment needs to be banned

Professor Paul Schrodt is a leading figure in the research around why the silent treatment is bad for relationships.

Conclusion

After reading the article you should now know that unless there is a really good reason, the silent treatment should be avoided at all costs.

What to do if your partner gives you the silent treatment?

To sum up, if your partner gives you the silent treatment more than you feel is reasonable, look inward at how much support you provide for your partner’s self-worth. Both you and your partner need to feel this deep sense of value to have a fulfilling relationship that lasts over time.

What does it mean when you are treated unfairly?

In relationships, as in the workplace, this means that if you’re treated unfairly, you’ll use the passive-aggressive state of silence in an effort to defend your sense of self in a way that is less risky than speaking out about the unfairness. You can’t get in trouble, so this reasoning goes, for what you don’t say.

Is silence better than conversation?

Silence can sometimes be better than conversation, especially if you and your partner need to take a break from an argument and just cool off. When one partner refuses to speak, however, the silence can seem unbearable, especially if it continues. In the dirty dishes scenario, it would seem like your partner is resorting to silence as a way ...

What is silent treatment?

The silent treatment is an abusive method of control, punishment, avoidance, or disempowerment (some times these four typesoverlap, sometimes not) that is a favorite tactic of narcissists, and especially thosewho have a hard time with impulse control, that is, those with more infantile tendencies. The silent treatment can be used as anabusive tactic ...

What to do if your boss has no sense of humor?

If your colleague or boss has no sense of humor, or is truly a narcissist, this will backfire, so be careful! The main thing is to develop a strong sense of self and not let it get to you. Remember, you can only change your behavior, not anyone else’s.

What does it mean when an abuser refuses to speak to you?

When the abuser gives you the cold-shoulder and refuses to speak to you because you’ve said/done something that bothers them and will not accept any reasonably sincere apology. This is punishing you with silence.

Can laughing at someone incite them?

Laughing at them will only incite or enrage them, but if they use the silent-treatment regularly or other controlling, disempowering tactics, a sigh, smile and shake of the head (with maybe a strategic eye roll) can diffuse the situation.

Can I go to therapy with my spouse?

Getting your spouseto go to therapy with you may not always be possible, but if the relationships is important to them and you feel that their behavior is irreparably damaging it, you might be in a position to strongly encourage even demand it of them. If not, go to therapy on your own so you can learn how to handle their behavior in a way ...

Does Psych Central review?

Psych Central does not review the content that appears in our blog network (blogs.psychcentral.com) prior to publication. All opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the author alone, and do not reflect the views of the editorial staff or management of Psych Central. Published on PsychCentral.com.

How to get rid of the silent treatment?

2. Take a break. Familiarise yourself with a time-out (opens in a new tab). It’s a really useful strategy when you’re feeling too overwhelmed to think straight.

What does it mean when your partner stops talking to you?

If your partner seems to have stopped talking to you out of the blue or after a fight, clearly the two of you are having a conflict – even if you weren’t aware that you’d done something ‘wrong’.

Is the silent treatment good?

No, the silent treatment is seldom a good idea. When you’re using the silent treatment, you’re attempting to manipulate and control your partner or spouse. I can understand your resorting to not responding to your partner or spouse if they continue to batter your ears over something you really don’t want to talk about.

Is silent treatment a sign of a toxic relationship?

At worst, it can be a sign of a toxic relationship. At best, it’s an unhealthy attempt to make upset and displeasure clear and to provoke guilt and atonement. The above steps will help you to handle the silent treatment with dignity.

Is it safe to ignore your spouse?

Keep in mind…. there are no benefits of the silent treatment, though your spouse or partner may feel safer having built a wall of silence around them. you have the right to feel safe in your relationship – physically and emotionally – when your spouse ignores you, it’s hard to feel safe.

How to treat a silent patient?

Remember that silence can never be a solution to the silent treatment. Always approach them directly but in a calm and gentle manner. Take a deep breath, clear your mind, and talk in a private place. Make sure they are comfortable. Initially, they will not talk but you will have to make them speak up.

What is silent treatment?

The silent treatment is a manipulative way to inflict pain on someone without visibly bruising them. It can be damaging if left unaddressed and cause a lot of unhappiness in your relationship.

What to do when someone has never apologized?

If you are someone who has never apologized to someone, try it . You will feel so much lighter when your part of the job is done. However, this is not an easy task.

Is silent treatment harmful?

As mentioned earlier, the silent treatment is a form of manipulation. Due to its nature, many believe this behavior is not harmful because you are physically safe. What many fail to realize is that mental well-being is as important as our physical well-being.

Can you start a cold shoulder conversation with someone?

There is no such rule that the conversation can only be started by the recipient. If you the one giving the cold shoulder, you can go up to the one at the receiving end. Assuming that it is a friend, you can go like “I know I have been quiet and it is not fair to you.

Can silent treatment be used out of malice?

For example, you cannot simply figure out what is going on in your boyfriend’s mind. Also, not all people use the silent treatment out of malice.

What do people not anticipate?

What these people do not anticipate is your knowledge of their twisted mind games. They don’t expect you to know how to play these mind games better than they can. Instead of crawling back to them, let them crawl back into whatever hole they have created for themselves and give them a taste of their own medicine.

How do narcissists express their disapproval?

The narcissist will express their disapproval by shutting down, withdrawing any love or affection, refusing to communicate and denying their target any explanation. Why? Avoidance, control, disempowerment and/or punishment, punishment for some perceived slight that their target is completely unaware of.

What happens if you don't get an answer from someone?

They know that by not getting an answer from them, you will likely start blaming yourself. You’ll apologise when you’ve no idea what you’re apologising for and try to do everything right this time, until the next time. Don’t play into their hands.

Can you walk away from a narcissist?

Despite overwhelming advice that not to stay with a narcissist is the best thing one can possibly do for oneself in order to enjoy a normal peaceful life, some find that they cannot walk away.

What is the silent treatment of a narcissist?

What is the narcissist’s silent treatment? Just to be clear, the silent treatment is a manipulation tactic where a toxic narcissist will stop talking to you for days, hours, weeks or even months in order to punish you for some perceived slight.

How to understand a narcissist's silent treatment?

Understanding the Narcissist’s Silent Treatment. The first thing you have to do is to educate yourself about the situation. I always say that knowledge is power , and the first fact you need to know about this issue is exactly why narcissists give you the silent treatment in the first place.

Does silent therapy work for narcissists?

Plus, the silent treatment works particularly well on sensitive, empathic people (who are often quite attractive to narcissists ), because we are wired to respond to and attempt to soothe the emotions of the people around us, especially those we love.