Treatment FAQ

how to beat a narcissist at the silent treatment

by Prof. Holly Ortiz Published 2 years ago Updated 2 years ago

How to beat the narcissistic silent treatment is to, first off, let the other party understand that it’s an immature and toxic act. Some people are used to having their way that they’d not hesitate to use the silent treatment to manipulate you into doing their bidding. Make them understand that it’s an unhealthy way to handle things.

Full Answer

What happens when you give a narcissist the silent treatment?

It’s best not to respond back with anything at all. Get your ducks in a row before you start arguing with them. 3. Get support – It’s important to get an outside perspective when dealing with the silent treatment. Talk to someone who isn’t emotionally invested in your situation and see what they have to say about it.

Why do narcissists give you the silent treatment?

Apr 06, 2022 · You don’t have to take it lying down, and there are ways you can beat the narcissist’s silent treatment. If you’re staying in the relationship because you have no choice, you can play the game. In order to do this, make sure you take care of yourself and that you don’t allow yourself to become overly isolated.

How to shut down the narcissist during the silent treatment?

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How to respond when someone gives you the silent treatment?

Dec 13, 2020 · Another reason to use it is to have control. Their aim can be to make you feel powerless and to control your behaviour. A third reason to use the silent treatment is devaluing you, which is indirectly showing you that you’re not worth their energy or response. It’s part of the narcissistic abuse cycle.

How do you outsmart a narcissist silent treatment?

You've changed your behavior to avoid getting the silent treatment.Take a gentle approach: Make it about them. ... Or, make it about you. ... Ignore it until it blows over. ... Offer solutions. ... Stand up for yourself.Apr 30, 2019

What happens when you give the silent treatment to a narcissist?

Essentially, the narcissistic person's message is one of extreme disapproval to the degree that the silence renders the target so insignificant that he or she is ignored and becomes more or less nonexistent in the eyes of the narcissistic person.Jun 2, 2014

How do you shut down a narcissist?

3:3311:068 Key Phrases You Can Use to Shut Down the Narcissist and Get them ...YouTubeStart of suggested clipEnd of suggested clipI'm really sorry you feel that way. Now that is you not arguing. You're not saying this is open forMoreI'm really sorry you feel that way. Now that is you not arguing. You're not saying this is open for a discussion. You are completely surrendering to how this person is feeling.

Does silence hurt a narcissist?

The silent treatment can also open the door to gaslighting where the narcissist manipulates the environment in a way that is most convenient for them. If you hadn't said or did what led to the silent treatment, then things would still be good in the relationship – or so the narcissists wants you to think.Nov 19, 2020

How does a narcissist react when they can't control you?

Narcissists also gaslight or practice master manipulation, weakening and destabilizing their victims; finally, they utilize positive and negative emotions or moments to trick others. When a narcissist can't control you, they'll likely feel threatened, react with anger, and they might even start threatening you.Dec 26, 2021

How does a narcissist react to no contact?

If we ignore them again by saying “no” or going “no contact” with them, narcissists might go into a complete rage. This rage is a coping mechanism in order for them to deal with us keeping our distance from them or saying “no” to them. A rejection of narcissists means that we think they are not perfect.Mar 11, 2021

What drives a narcissist insane?

The thing that drives a narcissist crazy is the lack of control and the lack of a fight. The less you fight back, the less power you can give them over you, the better,” she says. And because they never think they're wrong, they never apologize. About anything.Jan 30, 2019

What are narcissist weaknesses?

A monumental weakness in the narcissist is the failure to look internally and flesh out what needs to be worked on. Then, of course, the next step is to spend time improving. The narcissist sabotages any possibility of looking deep within.May 31, 2018

How do you humiliate a narcissist?

Tease, ridicule and shame them mercilessly for not trying to figure out right from wrong, instead, pretending to have it all figured out. Stay calm, even friendly, to the person cowering inside their absolute narcissistic fake infallibility cloak. Stay light, even humorous. It's nothing personal.Feb 24, 2020

What happens when you start ignoring a narcissist?

If you ignore a narcissist and deny them their source, they may become enraged and try even harder for your attention – especially in ways that can be toxic or abusive. Ignoring a narcissist will enrage them because of their fragile egos. They'll feel humiliated and lash out against you to protect themselves.May 19, 2021

Is ignoring a narcissist the best revenge?

Ignoring them might be the best revenge, but revenge should not be your driving motive. Instead, it's best to focus on building self-worth and attuning to your inherent needs for self-care.Jun 29, 2021

How do you make a narcissist miserable?

14 Ways to Make a Narcissist Miserable:Lack of Attention.Doing something they don't like.Losing.Logic and Facts.Boundaries.Critical Thinking.Spontaneous Behavior.Someone else's Success.More items...•Oct 15, 2020

2 – Disengage

The last thing you want to do during the silent treatment is to reward the narcissist by engaging with them when they hoover after they’ve engaged in bad behavior.

3 – Turn the Narcissistic Silent Treatment into your victory cry

The third way to shut down a narcissist who is giving you the silent treatment is to use the opportunity to end the relationship and go no contact.

You Can Overcome the Narcissistic Silent Treatment

The bad side of staying in a relationship with a narcissist is that it keeps you stuck in a hopeless situation. Holding onto hope that the narcissist in your life will change is a pipe dream that leads to a wasted life.

How To Get Started On The Stages of Healing After Narcissistic Silent Treatment

Recovering from narcissistic abuse is hard, and it’s okay to admit you need help. If you’re ready to go deeper, check out the #1 therapist-approved online program for narcissistic abuse recovery. Thousands across the globe have benefited from this program that’s practical, proven, and reliable.

How do you deal with the silent treatment of a narcissist?

Not only is it emotionally exhausting, but it makes you feel like you’re completely worthless, and it can make you feel like you’re losing your mind! So what are you supposed to do when you’re the victim of the silent treatment?

Why Do Narcissists Give You the Silent Treatment?

It’s critical to recognize that while many people have times when they need to retreat to think about things, someone who cares about you will never use this abusive tactic to punish you. The silent treatment isn’t a tactic that a healthy person would use to manipulate you.

The Psychology of the Silent Treatment

In general, silent treatment can be intentional or accidental. However, sometimes it is used as a form of social control. At other times, it may indicate that the person has no respect for your value as a person and regards you as less than human. Regardless of its intent, using silent treatment toward others can have devastating consequences.

When the Silent Treatment Ends: Beware the Hoover

One last tip: when the narcissist decides the silent treatment is over, and they need your narcissistic supply again, they will do anything in their power to “suck you back in,” a move we call “the hoover maneuver .” Don’t fall for it – it’s not going to get better, and they’re not really planning to change.

Start Getting Help with Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Today

Online help is readily available for survivors of narcissistic abuse. Here are some options to begin healing from narcissistic abuse right away.

What is the silent treatment used by narcissists?

A very common form of manipulation used by narcissists is the silent treatment. When a narcissist uses the silent treatment, it can be a very draining and painful experience. It’s passive-aggressive and it can be very frustrating and result in a lot of stress and anxiety.

How to deal with a narcissist?

When dealing with a narcissist, you have to trust your intuition. It can be very hard to recognize you are not the one to blame, mostly because of earlier emotional abuse or experiences. Now, you can’t change their unhealthy behaviour and you’re not responsible for the behaviour of others.

What is silent treatment?

The silent treatment is a lack of healthy communication. Now, a narcissist doesn’t care about the feelings of others and might even like to play these manipulative games. A narcissist has a lack of empathy and seeks for narcissistic supply, which could be a search for ego-boosting, appreciation, drama, or control.

Is silent treatment painful?

When having to deal with the silent treatment, it can be a very draining and painful experience. It’s manipulative behaviour and a very unhealthy form of communication. From experience, I know how challenging it is to deal with narcissists and their manipulative behaviour. It’s essential to learn to protect yourself and your energy.

Why do narcissists use silent treatment?

Narcissists use the silent treatment as a tool for exerting power over someone or creating emotional distance.

What is silent treatment?

Psychologists consider the narcissistic silent treatment a form of abuse. It’s a popular form of mental torture used by narcissistic individuals, whereby they cut their victims off by not talking to them for extended periods of time.

What do narcissists do?

What narcissists typically engage in is an insidious psychological technique called “gaslighting.”. On a very simple level, it goes like this: The narcissist does something selfish, and you confront them about it. The narcissist then twists this event around to make it sound like you were the selfish one.

Do narcissists care about you?

But just try to drill this into your head: Narcissists really don’t care. This is especially true when they use silent treatment to punish you. They don’t have the same feelings of longing and remorse as you do after spending time apart. And they certainly don’t feel guilty about it.

Do narcissists look good?

Narcissists are experts at reframing reality in a way that makes them look good and you look bad. While it can be infuriating and confusing, don’t fall for it. Stick to your guns. The silent treatment is never a healthy or functional way of dealing with problems in your relationship.

Can ghosts have their cake?

Although you may feel an overpowering urge to leave the lines of communication open for them despite their ghosting you, it’s best to ensure they can’t have their cake and eat it, too.

Can you smell victory?

You can almost smell victory. And among the thousands of articles out there, all promising you instant results and an immediately healed life, one has caught your fancy. Just ignore the narcissist, they say. But there’s a problem. You’ve heard a lot of good things about ignoring a narcissist.

What is the silent treatment?

The silent treatment is the no1 weapon used by narcissists during which the narcissist acts as if you are non-existent and even refuses to communicate, even if you tried doing so. So, what happens when this silent-treatment is reversed?

Do narcissists stalk you?

The Narcissist stalks you –. The first thing you can expect from a narcissist is continuous stalking. Yes, you heard it right. Although the narcissist acts as if he doesn’t care, deep down, his mind continuously haunts him and this results in constant stalking.

Can a narcissist be ignored?

As narcissist s can’t tolerate being ignored, the act of silent treatment strikes the narcissist much harder than the normal people. As you start with the silent treatment, you can see the narcissist’s immediate responses kick-in. He may act arrogant, angry, and even show his attitude towards you.

How to win silent treatment?

1. Shrugging it off. One way to understand how to win the silent treatment is to brush it off or ignore it. If you aren’t necessarily in a close relationship with the person who is giving you the silent treatment, you may be able to just move on and act like nothing happened.

What to do if you are silent?

If you are experiencing the silent treatment from someone you love, then therapy may be the only answer. This only works if your partner is willing to go to therapy in order to move forward. Unfortunately, so many people like using the silent treatment and don’t want a therapist taking that weapon away.

Why do people use the silent treatment?

People who use the silent treatment to win arguments and gain control need to understand the magnitude of their immature behavior. Confrontation lets them know that you see what they are doing and you understand the tactics they use. After telling them the truth, you can laugh about it.

What is a narcissist?

The narcissist. The narcissist is a troubled and sad individual. Among their weapons of choice, like their other manipulation techniques, they also utilize the silent treatment. The narcissist, since they are void of all original inner substance, will use the silent treatment to further establish who they are.

What does it mean when someone ignores others?

People who haven’t been taught to care effectively for others in a household will use the silent treatment on a regular basis. Selfish people care for themselves over others and when something doesn’t go their way, they ignore others to make a statement.

Who is Sherrie Hurd?

Sherrie Hurd is a professional writer and artist with over 20 years of experience. As a survivor of childhood trauma and multiple types of abuse, she is an advocate for mental health awareness. Sherrie manages multiple mental illnesses, including anxiety disorder, bipolar disorder, and PTSD. With this background and personal experience, she strives to help others overcome trauma and abuse, cope with mental illness, and heal over time.

Causes

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Narcissism is a personality disorder that stems from a persons psyche. Narcissism cannot be imbibed or induced. It is self developed. There are many reasons why a person may grow up to become a narcissist, in which dysfunctional families and several psychological factors play an integral role. When a narcissist feels that hi…
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Introduction

  • Being in a relationship with a narcissist can be very challenging and often unrewarding. Psychologists claim that a romantic relationship with a narcissist is actually based on a lie. A narcissist is a self absorbed person and he or she is incapable of loving someone truly because they are actually in love with their own selves. There is nothing and no one more important than …
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Characteristics

  • A narcissist has several tactics which he or she uses to control the person they are in a relationship with and they also invest their strategies to control the relationship itself. A narcissist is incapable of allowing himself or herself to go on a freewheeling ride where things are not under their control but that of lifes circumstances, which are a consequence of both people involved a…
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Mechanism

  • The silent treatment of a narcissist is almost like a self defense mechanism. When they are threatened, according to their psyche, to a compromise or a situation that they dont want to be in, they will play their cards and want the other person to retrace their steps.
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Effects

  • The silent treatment is pretty similar to a bad breakup. The narcissist will stop talking to the person, will not take their calls, not respond to the texts and if one is living in with the narcissist then there would be a cold shoulder at all times. There will be no confrontation, no emotional engagement or physical intimacy and the narcissist will actually behave in a manner that the oth…
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Treatment

  • The narcissistic silent treatment is very difficult to bear, especially in relationships that are relatively old or have progressed through the initial phases of dating. Unfortunately, it is difficult to counter the silent treatment without opting for intervention for the narcissist in the first place. If the problem is not cured at the root then t...
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