The duration of the silent treatment varies from one relationship to another, and could even last for days, and at times… years! [Read: The 80 20 rule in relationships and your love life]
Full Answer
What does it mean when your boyfriend gives you the silent treatment?
The silent treatment can happen in romantic relationships or any type of relationship, including between parents and children, friends, and co-workers. It can be a fleeting reaction to a situation in which one person feels angry, frustrated, or too overwhelmed to deal with a problem.
How long should the silent treatment last in a relationship?
Don’t let it stretch: Silent treatment will be effective only when partners reconnect quickly and make an effort to work through their issues. So, one clear answer to how long should the silent treatment last is to not let it stretch for days, weeks or months.
When do you need the silent treatment from an ex?
The only other time the silent treatment might be needed is if you’re dealing with an abusive ex. You may need to stop responding entirely, setting clear boundaries, particularly, for example, when you’re dealing with a narcissistic person. Will giving someone the silent treatment work?
What should I do if my partner gives me the silent treatment?
If your partner continues to give you the silent treatment time after time, help him work on redirecting the habit that has developed in his life. Wait until he begins speaking to you again, and then address the issue.
How long can a man give you the silent treatment?
If the perpetrator still refuses to acknowledge the victim's existence for long periods of time, it might be right to leave the relationship. In the end, whether it lasts four hours or four decades, the silent treatment says more about the person doing it than it does about the person receiving it.
When your boyfriend gives you the silent treatment How do you react?
Calmly tell the person that you've noticed they're not responding and you want to understand why. Emphasize that you want to resolve things. While it's not your fault that someone else decides to give you the silent treatment, you do have a responsibility to apologize if you've done something wrong.
What does it mean when your boyfriend gives you the silent treatment?
When one or both partners sulk, pout, or refuse to talk, they are exerting a cruel type of power in the relationship that not only shuts out their partner but also communicates that they do not care enough to try to communicate or collaborate. People use the silent treatment to control the situation or conversation.
Can the silent treatment end a relationship?
Findings from his in-depth analysis revealed that the silent treatment is 'tremendously' damaging to a relationship. It decreases relationship satisfaction for both partners, diminishes feelings of intimacy, and reduces the capacity to communicate in a way that's healthy and meaningful.
What does a man's silence mean?
This simply means that to work things out mentally and emotionally, women may prefer to "talk it out" whereas men may prefer to "think it out" and "work it out"—alone. This is the instant in which he may withdraw in silence.
What to do when he goes silent?
Nothing seems amiss.Suddenly, without warning, he goes radio silent and shuts down. ... Relax. ... In a neutral voice, just observe the shift: ... Really listen to his answer. ... Tell him what you want him to think: ... Give him time to slow down and figure it out.More items...•
How damaging is the silent treatment?
Here's why the silent treatment can be damaging: It can cause emotional trauma. A person who is ignored feels a wide range of confusing emotions. They may feel anger, sadness, frustration, guilt, despair, and loneliness, all at once.
Is silence OK in a relationship?
Silence in a relationship is often perceived as a red flag, but it isn't necessarily a bad thing. It happens. Just because you are with your partner doesn't mean you need to be talking 24/7. Sometimes, one or both partners are busy or tired or just don't feel like talking, and that's completely OK.
How long should I give him space after a fight?
Spending time apart gives him a chance to miss you. While you're gone, he'll realize how much he wants you in his life. Space also gives you both time to calm down from the fight so you can have a healthy discussion when you talk again. In general, you might give his space for up to 3 days after a fight.
How do you confront someone who is giving you the silent treatment?
7 Useful Ways to Confront Someone Giving You the Silent Treatment...Question Your Own Behavior.Rehearse What You Are Going to Say.Speak in Private.Write Them a Letter/E-mail.Use Humor.Pay Attention to Your Tone.Act in a More Assertive Manner.
What does it mean when you use the silent treatment?
When you’re using the silent treatment, you’re attempting to manipulate and control your partner or spouse.
How to get rid of the silent treatment?
2. Take a break. Familiarise yourself with a time-out (opens in a new tab). It’s a really useful strategy when you’re feeling too overwhelmed to think straight.
What is “the silent treatment” and how can you win it?
You’ll surely know what it feels like when someone gives you the silent treatment. They simply stop talking to you – for hours, days or even weeks.
Why does your spouse or partner ignore you?
The question I often get asked is: “Why do guys give the silent treatment?”
What to do if you're in a long distance relationship?
If you’re dating or are in a long-distance relationship and you’re being given the silent treatment, stop writing, texting or calling right away! You’re either being manipulated, or the relationship has ended.
What does it mean when your partner stops talking to you?
If your partner seems to have stopped talking to you out of the blue or after a fight, clearly the two of you are having a conflict – even if you weren’t aware that you’d done something ‘wrong’.
Do you need to worry about silent treatment?
If you’re using a more helpful way of communicating and argue fairly, you won’t need to worry about the silent treatment backfiring.
Why is silent treatment bad?
The silent treatment is one of the most damaging relationship problems. It gives no resolve to the situation if there is an issue that needs to be addressed, and it makes the other person feel as though that whatever the issue is, is more important than discussing it to even get to a resolve. It causes damage to the relationship because it makes ...
How to not be entangled in a power struggle?
So you must manage your own emotions. You have NO control over how people deal with you but you are in full control over your reaction to them. Make a couple of self-talk statements: “Here he is with that; I will not participate in this with him.”.
1. Try to find the root of the problem
Even though you’re going through a rollercoaster of emotions right now, when your partner decides to give you the silent treatment, you have to pause for a second and try to find the cause of your problem.
2. Wear your heart on your sleeve
In most cases, if we’re hurt by someone close to our heart, most of us tend to build walls around our hearts so that it never happens again. We suppress those emotions and refuse to deal with them.
3. Find a common ground
Granted, relationships require much effort on both ends, but it’s really up to you to determine whether your partner is really worth it.
4. Give both of you some time to cool off
If you’re the one who’s receiving the silent treatment, then don’t go chasing your partner and trying to talk with him right away. Instead, give the both of you some time to cool off.
5. Be polite to each other
There are different types of communication. And yelling and screaming at each other is one type, but it won’t help you solve anything.
What to do when your boyfriend gives you the silent treatment?
You might be running out of ideas on what to do when my boyfriend gives me the silent treatment but here’s a simple solution: talk! You can have a peek at How to Talk to Your Boyfriend When You are Upset with Him to help you out.
What to do if your boyfriend is silent?
In case your boyfriend is giving you the silent treatment for something that you did, immediately apologise. It might not be easy if you’re someone with a big ego. But if you really love your boyfriend then you should be sorry for hurting him.
What does it feel like to be on the receiving end of the silent treatment?
According to relationship experts, being on the receiving end of the silent treatment can feel cruel. You might also be feeling like you’re being punished by your boyfriend. You start to panic and think of the different ways on what to do when my boyfriend gives me the silent treatment.
What happens when a man sees you unbothered?
When he sees that you’re unbothered by his action, he’ll stop his silence. He could get angry or annoyed but at least he’ll start talking to you again. On the other hand, he might start to see that his silent treatment is a bit too immature and won’t solve anything.
How to get your boyfriend to talk to you again?
Treat your boyfriend to something that he likes. Refuse ‘no’ as an answer. He has to accept whatever it is that you’re treating him with. Once he feels a bit better , he’ll start to talk with you again.
Does silent treatment always mean the end of a relationship?
The silent treatment doesn’t always signify the end of a relationship. As long as you try to find the root of the problem and show how much you love him, there’s still hope.
Is silent treatment a form of abuse?
Based on what some psychologists say, the silent treatment can be a form of abuse. You should not ignore your boyfriend’s action like this one. Especially if it happens frequently and hurt you too much. Make sure you know How to Make Your Boyfriend Understand That He Hurt You so it doesn't happen again.
How to avoid silent treatment?
Require you to apologize or give in to demands just so they will talk to you. Refuse to acknowledge you until you grovel and plead. Use silence as a passive-aggressive way to control your behavior (e.g., you give in to demands or you avoid certain behaviors to avoid the silent treatment)
Why does a demanding partner become silent?
In demand-withdraw interactions, the demanding partner feels shut out and that their emotional needs are not being met while the withdrawing partner becomes silent due to hurt feelings and an unwillingness or inability to talk about them.
What happens when silence is used?
When this happens, it becomes a control tactic that is emotionally abusive.
Why is a victim silent?
There are also instances when a victim of abuse is silent as a way to stay safe and keep an already abusive situation from escalating. In these situations, the victim knows that saying something—even if their partner demands it—will only escalate the situation and lead to more abuse.
Why do people use silent treatment?
Research. Researchers have found that the silent treatment is used by both men and women to terminate a partner's behaviors or words rather than to elicit them. 1 In abusive relationships, the silent treatment is used to manipulate the other person and to establish power over them.
How to avoid taking responsibility for bad behavior?
Use the silent treatment to put you in your place. Give you the cold shoulder for days or weeks at a time. Refuse to talk, make eye contact, answer calls, or respond to texts. Fall back on the silent treatment when things don't go their way. Use it as a way to avoid taking responsibility for bad behavior.
How to resolve a relationship issue?
To resolve the issue, both partners need to take responsibility for their behavior and try to empathize with their partner.
What to do if your partner gives you the silent treatment?
To sum up, if your partner gives you the silent treatment more than you feel is reasonable, look inward at how much support you provide for your partner’s self-worth. Both you and your partner need to feel this deep sense of value to have a fulfilling relationship that lasts over time.
Is silence better than conversation?
Silence can sometimes be better than conversation, especially if you and your partner need to take a break from an argument and just cool off. When one partner refuses to speak, however, the silence can seem unbearable, especially if it continues. In the dirty dishes scenario, it would seem like your partner is resorting to silence as a way ...
How to give silent treatment in a relationship?
The key to giving silent treatment in a relationship is to manage and balance it perfectly. While you want to disengage and let the bad feelings dissipate, you also do not want to hurt your partner in an irrevocable way.
Why does silent treatment work with an ex?
Why the silent treatment works with an ex is because it gives both people time off to think about the consequences of their decision. The no contact rule after breaking up can do wonders.
Why did Radhika Sapru stay silent?
Radhika Sapru (name changed) discovered the benefits of silent treatment early on in her relationship with Rohit. That was the only way she could tackle her hot-tempered boyfriend who was actually a gem at heart, she felt. But when Rohit got angry there was no point trying to show him any kind of reason. Usually at times like that Radhika chose to stay silent. Sometimes on a date or even on the phone, if Rohit flew off the hook, Radhika just kept her mouth shut letting him cool down first.
What are the benefits of silent treatment?
We write 8 benefits of silent treatment. 1. Silent treatment could dissipate tension. Silent treatment could be beneficial and abusive too. Silent treatment in marriage is thought to be a way of punishing a partner and is akin to passive aggressive behavior. But it is not always as mean as it is made out to be.
How to end a relationship with a narcissist?
It would tire them out and they would want to open a dialogue. And if you want to end the relationship, then just use the silent treatment as an opportunity to move on.
Why do people use silent treatment?
This helps to diffuse the aggression that one person is feeling. 2. You can understand your partner better. People who use the silent treatment as a method of punishing their partner can stay silent for days building a wall around them and behaving that their partner doesn’t exist. This is terrible for a relationship.
How does silent treatment help?
She says, “The silent treatment can help revive connections that have been fairly healthy , in that it allows both partners to list out their differences and introspect. When communications are laced with more opinions and fewer facts in healthy connections, giving each other space for a while may help in rekindling the connection and setting a new equation. But this is about giving space and not shutting down on your partner. It may help bring about effective communication and has to be used carefully, being aware of the goal at all times.”
How long should you be honest with someone who has silent treatment?
I say you should blow someone's mind by being honest when someone carries on the silent treatment past 48 hours. Just tell you're partner very calmly that while you understand they are upset, a sufficient amount of time has passed for them to process the situation.
What Is the Silent Treatment in a Relationship?
The silent treatment is when one person in a relationship ignores the other person, refusing to acknowledge them verbally or through any other method. This usually happens after an argument, but it can also happen when the silent partner is angry, and the other person doesn't know why.
What does it mean when a man says he's busy but he acts disinterested?
In other words, "He says he's busy, but he acts disinterested" means he's probably disinterested. This is especially true if you called his attention to it and he hasn't tried to improve things and hasn't taken your complaint seriously.
What does it mean when a silent partner is attempting to escape another toxic dynamic?
In some cases, the silent partner is attempting to escape another toxic dynamic. If you are trying to force them to change or do things your way, you're giving them a reason to withdraw. If you criticize them as a person or assigning blame instead of focusing on finding solutions, you're contributing to the dynamic.
How to deal with a silent spouse?
Give Your Partner Space to Think. Avoid trying to figure out what your silent partner or spouse is thinking. You're not a mind-reader. The silent treatment is a passive-aggressive form of communication. If you do their thinking for them, they won't learn how to be direct when sharing their thoughts and feelings.
Why do introverts need more time?
Introverts need more time to process their emotions, especially when things get intense or they feel that they've been attacked or insulted in some way. If this is the case for you, tell your partner that you'll give them a certain amount of time to themselves and that you'll be back after the time is up to talk.
How to respond to silent treatment?
Here are some ways to respond to the silent treatment. 1. Take Time to Cool Off. During a time of silence both partners should pause to reflect on what led up to the silent treatment episode, especially if it was preceded by an argument, fight, or emotional outburst.
What happens during silent treatment?
So, during the silent treatment, you get confused and chase back the narcissist. Even if you did not chase, the narcissist knew that you are wondering and thinking about them continuously. This is what makes the narcissist’s ego satisfied and his longing for the narcissistic supply will be fulfilled.
How long does a narcissist's silent treatment last?
Narcissists have a huge patience in waiting for the narcissistic supply. Thus the narcissist’s silent treatment can long for days, weeks, months and even years also.
Why do narcissists give you silent treatment?
Narcissists give you the silent treatment when they feel that you not treating them specially. In other words, whenever the narcissist feels a decrease in their narcissist supply, he/she uses the big weapon of silent treatment on targets.
What happens to a narcissist when you give him a supply?
Moreover, with the narcissistic supply you give, he gets back the power of feeling special and gets his ego satisfied.
What is the silent treatment?
To be frank, the silent treatment is one of the narcissist’s cruel weapons used on people who love him. In other words, on the people from whom he gets that narcissistic supply. If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, you might already know how the silent treatment is like.. No calls..
When does a narcissist return?
Also at times, the narcissist returns when he is completely devoid of the narcissistic supply. On such a day when he is completely low, depressed and doesn’t have any supply available, he/she has no chance, except to come back to you immediately.
What happens when you get irritated by a narcissist?
You get irritated, you get disturbed, You lose control of yourself and finally, You chase the narcissist and come to them. . And exactly this is what a narcissist expects and wants. By doing so, the narcissist automatically gains control over the relationship..