Treatment FAQ

how does the silent treatment work

by Herbert Kreiger Published 2 years ago Updated 2 years ago
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People who use the silent treatment as a way to gain power or exert control in a relationship will:

  • Use the silent treatment to put you in your place
  • Give you the cold shoulder for days or weeks at a time
  • Refuse to talk, make eye contact, answer calls, or respond to texts
  • Fall back on the silent treatment when things don't go their way
  • Use it as a way to avoid taking responsibility for bad behavior

More items...

The silent treatment is a refusal to communicate verbally with another person. People who use the silent treatment may even refuse to acknowledge the presence of the other person. People use the silent treatment in many types of relationship, including romantic relationships.Jun 8, 2020

Full Answer

Why are you receiving the silent treatment?

The silent treatment is one means for himto keep his targetunder his control. Not only does it enable the abuser to control his target, it also enables him …

What are the effects of Silent Treatment?

Apr 25, 2021 · Behaviors that work include listening, collaborating to solve problems and working to accept rifts that just won't go away. But first, you have to admit that something's wrong, Rittenour added. In...

How does the silence treatment affect marriage?

Apr 30, 2019 · People who use the silent treatment as a means of control want to put you in your place. They’ll give you the cold shoulder for days or weeks on end to achieve those goals. This is emotional abuse....

Is the silent treatment ever OK?

Jun 05, 2018 · The silent treatment is used by someone who doesn’t know how else to get through to their partner. Or, someone uses it to manipulate or control another person to get them to capitulate, do as told or until apologised. Can the silent treatment work? The silent treatment can work if you’ve stopped dating someone who keeps bothering you.

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How long does the silent treatment last?

If the perpetrator still refuses to acknowledge the victim's existence for long periods of time, it might be right to leave the relationship. In the end, whether it lasts four hours or four decades, the silent treatment says more about the person doing it than it does about the person receiving it.Mar 26, 2021

Does giving the silent treatment work?

Findings from his in-depth analysis revealed that the silent treatment is 'tremendously' damaging to a relationship. It decreases relationship satisfaction for both partners, diminishes feelings of intimacy, and reduces the capacity to communicate in a way that's healthy and meaningful.

What type of person gives the silent treatment?

Research. Researchers have found that the silent treatment is used by both men and women to terminate a partner's behaviors or words rather than to elicit them. 1 In abusive relationships, the silent treatment is used to manipulate the other person and to establish power over them.Jun 1, 2020

How do you win the silent treatment?

Maintain your dignity and try these six strategies.Look for the reasons behind the silent treatment. ... Share the psychology behind silent treatment. ... Avoid reacting to silent abuse. ... Respond with calmness and speak kindly. ... State your boundaries clearly. ... Take care of yourself. ... Consider professional therapy.Apr 26, 2021

What is the benefit of silence?

Silence may improve concentration and focus Auditory stillness helps us focus. Freed from the external stimulus of noise, our brains can better concentrate on the task at hand. This can have benefits for our work, education, relationships, and more.Sep 23, 2021

Why is silence the best revenge?

Silence speaks volumes Believe it, the silence and zero reaction really bothers your ex, and they consider it as the best served revenge. Nothing creates more curiosity than silence. Your ex would expect a vent or an angry rant from you, but don't give in. If you do, you are meeting their expectations.Sep 9, 2019

What does silence mean for a man?

Being silent prevents this sense of loss of our masculinity. The male feels he cannot win or might not get heard. We might feel we have less vocabulary, or that we might lose the argument. We might get angry and do something we should not do.

Is silent treatment toxic?

Why the Silent Treatment Is So Harmful When you're on the receiving end of the silent treatment, you may feel powerless, disrespected, invisible, frustrated, or angry — or you may cycle through all of these emotions. “Many people feel powerless because we as humans are inherently social creatures.Mar 10, 2021

Does silent treatment work?

But does the silent treatment work? The answer depends on your goal. If you're just trying to communicate that you're upset — and don't care about producing meaningful change in the relationship — then yes, said Paul Schrodt, an expert in communication and conflict at Texas Christian University.

Do romantic partners use silent treatment?

Another team of researchers, in a study published in the journal Communication Research Reports in 2009, found that in romantic relationships, partners who used the silent treatment more often were less committed to their relationship.

Is silent treatment more likely to produce frustration than change?

But beyond getting the recipient's attention, the silent treatment is more likely to produce frustration than change, said Christine Rittenour, an expert in family communication at West Virginia University. "The recipient has all these unanswered questions," Rittenour told Live Science.

What is silent treatment?

The silent treatment can happen in romantic relationships or any type of relationship, including between parents and children, friends, and co-workers. It can be a fleeting reaction to a situation in which one person feels angry, frustrated, or too overwhelmed to deal with a problem.

Why do people go silent?

But some people use the silent treatment as a tool for exerting power over someone or creating emotional distance.

What to do when your spouse is silent?

If it’s your spouse or partner, you both may benefit from couples counseling or individual therapy to learn better ways to manage conflicts. When the silent treatment is part of the larger issue of emotional abuse, don’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault.

How to deal with emotional abuse?

Make it about you. Ignore it. Offer solutions. Stand up for yourself. What not to do. Signs of emotional abuse. Get help. Takeaway. If you’ve ever found yourself in a situation where you couldn’t get someone to talk to you, or even acknowledge you, you’ve experienced the silent treatment.

What to do when things escalate to emotional abuse?

When things escalate to emotional abuse, you’re not in a healthy relationship. It’s time to put yourself first. If you believe the relationship is worth salvaging: Set firm boundaries about what acceptable behavior is and how you expect to be treated.

Is silent treatment a good way to communicate?

While it’s not always malicious, the silent treatment certainly isn’t a healthy way to communicate. If the silent treatment looms large in your life, there are steps you can take to improve your relationship or remove yourself from an abusive situation. Last medically reviewed on April 30, 2019.

Is silent treatment always meant to inflict wounds?

The silent treatment isn’t always meant to inflict wounds. Sometimes, it’s an isolated incident that gets out of hand. You can let it slide until they come around and move on.

Why do people use silent treatment?

This helps to diffuse the aggression that one person is feeling. 2. You can understand your partner better. People who use the silent treatment as a method of punishing their partner can stay silent for days building a wall around them and behaving that their partner doesn’t exist. This is terrible for a relationship.

Why does silent treatment work with an ex?

Why the silent treatment works with an ex is because it gives both people time off to think about the consequences of their decision. The no contact rule after breaking up can do wonders.

Why is silence important in marriage?

Silent treatment could be beneficial and abusive too. Silent treatment in marriage is thought to be a way of punishing a partner and is akin to passive aggressive behavior. But it is not always as mean as it is made out to be.

What happens when one person falls silent?

If one person falls silent and disengages from the argument this not only helps in breaking away from the cycle of angry arguments it also helps to open a dialogue and reach a compromise. When one partner wants to resolve the situation you should readily get out of the silence and start talking about the issue.

Can you use silent treatment in marriage?

Some people use silent treatment all the time and that has an adverse effect on a relationship and on your loved ones. Using silent treatment in marriage is also more common than you think. However difficult, if you use it once in a while it could be beneficial to your relationship.

Is silent treatment good for mental health?

This will be better for your mental health and you will reap the benefits of silent treatment. There are people who become silent when in a negative environment and transport themselves mentally to a serene place like a meadow or a beach and deal with their negative emotions accordingly.

Can silence be abusive?

If you do not, then your silent treatment will become abusive. Silent treatment in marriage or in relationships does have its benefits if used in the right way. But ensure that silence does not get prolonged then it will become detrimental for the relationship.

How to get rid of the silent treatment?

2. Take a break. Familiarise yourself with a time-out (opens in a new tab). It’s a really useful strategy when you’re feeling too overwhelmed to think straight.

What does it mean when your partner stops talking to you?

If your partner seems to have stopped talking to you out of the blue or after a fight, clearly the two of you are having a conflict – even if you weren’t aware that you’d done something ‘wrong’.

Is silent treatment a sign of a toxic relationship?

At worst, it can be a sign of a toxic relationship. At best, it’s an unhealthy attempt to make upset and displeasure clear and to provoke guilt and atonement. The above steps will help you to handle the silent treatment with dignity.

Is the silent treatment good?

No, the silent treatment is seldom a good idea. When you’re using the silent treatment, you’re attempting to manipulate and control your partner or spouse. I can understand your resorting to not responding to your partner or spouse if they continue to batter your ears over something you really don’t want to talk about.

What is silent treatment?

In a relationship or friendship, the silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse. It's shutting someone out, and refusing to address an issue or a grievance. Often, people who use the silent treatment don't even tell the person they're snubbing what they've done wrong.

What happens if you use silent treatment?

Using the silent treatment will only lead to more anger and resentment while further driving a wedge between you and your partner.

What does it feel like to be shut out?

The person being shut out feels hurt, abandoned and like their words are falling on deaf ears. If the other person is trying to communicate and fix the problem and you're snubbing them, they're doing all the work. Nothing good can come from shunning or ostracizing someone you love just to get what you want.

What happens when you snub someone?

The person you're snubbing feels hurt and confused, and either does everything in their power to get you to start talking to them again or gets angry and, in turn, snubs you back. So then you've got two people who aren't communicating and no one wins.

Why is silent treatment bad?

This decreases intimacy and trust between partners, and can cause anxiety and aggressive behavior. The silent treatment may become a pattern, which hinders the ability to communicate effectively. Many people don’t realize the dangers of engaging in the silent treatment, which only adds to the problem.

What happens if you don't act like yourself?

Realizing you aren’t quite acting like yourself could further feelings of guilt, loss of control, and uncertainty; since these feelings initiate a sense of threat to your survival, this may heighten any fight-or-flight reaction you may have. 5. It can destroy relationships. Often the issue here is with communication.

Is it worth it to keep silence?

It’s not worth it to keep the silence. If you’re the one being ignored, do your best to find out what is wrong; do not give them the silent treatment back. If one or both of you needs space, establish that. Since, as mentioned, communication is often the issue, try to discuss and understand the situation.

Is effective communication in the workplace challenging?

Effective communication in the workplace doesn’t have to be challenging, but it does have to be intentional. Knowledge can only take us so far, but once again, knowing something is very different than putting it into action.

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