How to deal with a grandparent who doesn't care about their grandchildren?
Teach the children to respect the grandparent but explain the values you hold. If they are good values then the children will not lose them by having contact with even hopeless grandparents. One day you also may see things different and be glad you have a parent who,for all their faults cares about you. Reply CCsays March 2, 2020 at 4:56 pm Witheld
Do you want to get rid of toxic grandparents?
Susceptable folk will decide they have toxic grandparents and want to get rid of them. Surely when visits to grandparents reveal unwanted experiences as well as good ones the balanced parent will build on the good and either discuss or ignore the bad. Let’s have some balance here.How about 10 ways to identify a positive grandparent?
Why does my grandparent say I don't remember that?
Whenever you bring up painful moments from your childhood, the grandparent gaslightsyou by saying: “I don’t remember that,” or “You always exaggerate!” Quite simply, the grandparent is incapable of reflecting on their flaws and wrongdoings.
What do grandparents have to remember when their grandchildren move in?
What grandparents have to remember is, when your grandchildren move in with you, you are their new family. In my private practice, I knew many grandparents who raised their grandchildren because of parental neglect, abandonment, incarceration or substance abuse. Frankly, these grandparents had their hands full.
How to reduce the risk of cancer?
You may need to start getting screening tests earlier and get tested more often than other people. Medicine or surgery that could lower your cancer risk. Making healthy choices like quitting smoking, not drinking alcohol, exercising regularly, and keeping a healthy weight.
What age do you have to be to have a family history of breast cancer?
Any first-degree relative (parent, sibling, or child) was diagnosed before age 50 with ovarian, uterine, breast, or colorectal cancer.
Why is it important to tell your doctor about your family history?
Telling your doctor about your family health history is a first step to find out if you may have a higher cancer risk. It will help you and your doctor decide what tests you need, when to start, and how often to be tested. Knowing your family health history also helps you and your doctor decide if genetic counseling or testing may be right for you.
What is genetic counselor?
A genetic counselor is a specialist who asks you about your family’s health history and helps you decide if genetic testing is right for you. A genetic test uses your saliva or blood to look at your DNA. This can show if you have mutations (changes) that may raise your cancer risk.
My Grandma has terminal cancer
Im 21 years old, and last night, I found out that the light of my life (my grandma) has been told she has terminal cancer.
My Grandma has terminal cancer
This is really sad. I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother's diagnosis. It must have come as a real shock to you and I can understand why you are feeling heartbroken. I hope you can make the most of whatever time your grandmother has left with you.
Why do grandparents give up custody?
children are being raised by a grandparent with no parent in the household, referred to as “grandfamilies.”. Most often, parents voluntarily give up custody to the grandparent for a variety of reasons including substance use, abuse and neglect, incarceration, mental health problems, ...
Which group of children are more likely to live in a three generational home?
Children who are black, Hispanic, and Asian are more likely to live in three-generational homes compared to white children. And these children are more likely to live with a single parent rather than two parents. But even within three-generational homes, financial well-being is diverse. In homes with two parents and grandparents, ...
What did Dunifon and her team find about family structures?
Most importantly, Dunifon and her team found that family structures are diverse, and the specifics matter. Children whose grandparents assume the role of raising them face vastly different challenges compared to children who live with their parents and grandparents in a “three-generational” home.
Do grandparents have more stress?
There is some evidence that grandparents in three-generational homes experience more stress and depression, but this evidence isn’t conclusive. There is also evidence that children in single-mother, three-generational homes do better in school and are less likely to engage in risky behaviors compared to those living with a single mother alone. ...
Do children live with grandparents?
More children are living with their grandparents than ever before in contemporary society. This phenomenon leads to a complex set of issues and outcomes for grandparents and the children for whom they care.
Do grandparents own their own home?
In homes with two parents and grandparents, the parents are more likely to own the home, suggesting that the grandparent moved into the parent’s home. But in homes with a single parent and grandparents, the grandparent is more likely to own the home, suggesting that the parent moved into the grandparents’ home.
What do grandparents have to remember?
What grandparents have to remember is, when your grandchildren move in with you, you are their new family. In my private practice, I knew many grandparents who raised their grandchildren because of parental neglect, abandonment, incarceration or substance abuse. Frankly, these grandparents had their hands full.
What happens when you take your grandchild on a honeymoon?
Like Jan, often when you first take your grandchild in, there’s a honeymoon period where the change of environment and absence of stress from the old living situation gives your grandchild the chance to show his or her best side, which is great. Sadly, all too often the honeymoon ends. And the problematic behaviors emerge—sometimes slowly, sometimes with great rapidity. Either way, it knocks the family off balance.
What to say when your grandchild says "You're not my mom"?
“You’re not my mom! I don’t have to listen to you!”. When your grandchild says, “You’re not my parent!”.
What to do if your grandchild is being physically abused?
First of all, if your grandchild is being physically abusive to you, you should call the police. There’s no excuse for physical abuse. You did not work all your life to be abused physically in your later years. If you want to be a martyr and allow that, that’s your choice.
What is the role of a caretaker?
Focus on what your role is: Caretaker. That means you should inform the child what the rules are in your house. The whole idea here is to avoid a power struggle. What your grandchild is doing is inviting you to a fight. And remember, you don’t have to attend every fight you’re invited to.
Why should kids be taken seriously?
These behaviors should be taken very seriously indeed, because they can be precursors of much larger problems.
What to say when your kids say you're not your mom?
Do not condemn the mom or dad or get into a discussion about it. All you have to say is, “There are the rules here, and there will be consequences if you don’t follow them.”. When kids say “You’re not my mom or dad,” what they’re really trying to do is take the power away from you. Focus on what your role is: Caretaker.
How to talk to a child about cancer?
There are many excellent resources for talking to children when a mom or dad is facing cancer. Countless websites, books, and magazine articles have addressed these issues, and the same points are identified and emphasized time and again: 1 Be honest with children. 2 Offer information at the child’s developmental level. 3 Use the word cancer, instead of just saying that the person with cancer is sick, to help children distinguish between this illness and others he or she may encounter. 4 Discuss feelings and emotions as much as you discuss the facts about cancer. 5 Emphasize ways for children to manage their reactions to the cancer. 6 Prepare children for what they will see, hear, and experience. 7 Assure children that they didn’t cause the cancer and they can’t catch it. 8 Help children understand how their own lives will be affected by a parent’s cancer. 9 Maintain as much of a normal routine as possible.
Why is it important to remember that the most significant relationships in a child's life are usually with his or her
First, it’s important to remember that the most significant relationships in a child’s life are usually with his or her parents. The reason so much focus is put on helping children when a parent has cancer is we know that any challenge affecting a parent will also affect the child.
Can a grandparent see their grandchildren?
Such might be the case when the grandparents live in another city or state and only see their grandchildren occasionally. However, it can be shocking to see a changed or ill grandparent, so children need to be prepared for what they will see before going for a visit.
Do grandparents care for children?
Some children are incredibly close to their grandmothers and grandfathers. Perhaps the grandparents care for the children while their parents are at work. Or they live nearby and see their grandchildren frequently.
Can a child have a grandparent with cancer?
The short answer is yes . However, there are some special considerations when helping a child cope with a grandparent’s cancer. It is critical that parents and grandparents work together to decide what, when, and how to tell children about a grandparent’s cancer. First, it’s important to remember that the most significant relationships in ...
Should grandparents talk to their grandchildren about cancer?
Even though grandparents are encouraged to follow the wishes and guidance of the parents in talking to their grandchildren about cancer, grandparents should not be put in the position of having to be dishonest with their grandchildren.
What does it mean when a grandparent is incapable of reflecting on their faults?
Quite simply, the grandparent is incapable of reflecting on their flaws and wrongdoings. They believe they were a great parent and that the issue is with you . People who can’t admit fault can’t learn from their mistakes.
What is toxic grandparent?
A toxic grandparent is someone with an over-inflated ego and a lack of empathy for other people’s feelings. That includes people closest to them — their family. Even the slightest disagreement can be perceived as an attack, and all of the sudden grandma is “sick,” or grandpa is having “chest pains.”.
What does excessive gift giving mean?
Excessive gift-giving, especially when one child gets better gifts than the others, sends the message that gifts equal love. Simply put, if a grandparent engages in this type of excessive or selective gift-giving, it’s not good for anyone. 6. Manipulating to Get What They Want.
Why are children a perfect target for manipulators?
Children are a perfect target for a manipulator because they’re so innocent and trusting. As a result, they may internalize guilt or shame the grandparent is trying to use to manipulate them. So be vigilant when the grandparent is trying to play on your child’s emotions. It’s not as harmless as it sounds. 7.
Can a toxic grandparent sue you for visitation rights?
They will go as far as demanding time with your kid ONLY, trying to bypass you and take control of the situation. If that doesn’t work, they’ll enlist relatives to harass you on their behalf. In extreme cases, a toxic grandparent will sue you for visitation rights, or even for full custody of your kids.